[mike l.]

dear tommy,

i had Ad3d two off the button and i raised. 100-200 at commerce. the guy on the button 3 bets. he's very loose and aggro. the bb who is even more clueless than either of us calls. i call.

the flop is Kh9h4c. checked to button who bets, blind folds. i call deciding that i will bet the turn no matter what.

the turn is 7s. i bet, he raises. he raises in such a way with just the right hesitation and right speed and extra strength in his pace that i know what he has. and then he stares blankly holding quite still. i wait and he keeps holding still and he's trying to intimidate. i know he wants a fold. he has exactly QhJh. ive got him tommy, ive got this guy. i should reraise but if he bluffs the river it will be the same amount of bets, in retrospect this is wrong but hell im a little scared. im going to call this guy down man, he's got QJ of hearts. so i call.

the river is 6h. he got there. i check and call. i dont even think about it. im now paying $200 to prove to myself how right i am (not how unlucky i am, even i couldnt delude myself into thinking that, not the way ive been running). the guy flips up QhJh. yep im the greatest. im just a big bet lighter in the wallet. fuuck.

tommy are you out there? why do i keep doing this? will i ever stop doing this? or am i a terminal ego case that will always be held back by his need to be right even when im so wrong? can i mark a date in my calendar tommy? in ink? do i need some therapy, or should i just rush for the ER? things have gotten so much better, but are still so fuucked up. tommy can you help me?

thanks in advance, mike l.

ps: is it true youre coming down here in a couple weeks?? how's your 2-7 triple draw game cause we're big on that down this way. gabe's writing a book on it i think.