I think I know what this is.
You have solid skills, but you allow yourself to be led by impulses not conducive to good poker. While you are playing.
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I...set out to play my solid, well thought out game...
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then, this...
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I experience [a bad beat]...which is usually a combination of some terrible bad luck which I could have avoided this better if I made a tough laydown or bet the turn more aggressively.
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It seems that you are taking responsibility for your game, AND you know you are being impulsive, AND you feel bad about it after ... because you blame yourself (which is the responsible, accountable thing to do).
And then accordingly you feel the guilt from being responsible for the implusive-driven results, and your game goes directly to hell.
So it looks like what is happening here is, with the bad plays, you are purposely beating yourself up. You are choosing poker as the place to get "punished".
Alot of people do this. In fact, it's painfully commonplace. This is why I say:
Consistent Poker Winners are Superhuman
Consider this:
"Normal human tendencies are traits that cause you to do poorly. Therefore, to be successful (as a trader) you need to condition abnormal responses."
-Mark Minervini, from the book: STOCK MARKET WIZARDS
Fixing this self-beat problem is hard. A strong desire to win will help you, leading to self-examination and ultimately, extensive knowledge and understanding of your (largely unconscious) beliefs. Most of these problem beliefs you discover are about ...."guess who"?
No wonder there are so few, truly consistent winners.
There is quicker technique that does not fix, but rather "patches" this problem. It may help you learn to keep a lid on impluses, and repeat the winning behaviors. From there you can dig into the real work on the larger issues.
The Player You Respect the Most