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What if someone shows their cards to have the table before mucking, can I speak up and find out what they are?

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yup

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Can I do it without sounding nit-ish?

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i would say probably not. only way i ask to see here is if i folded to the guy's raise heads-up, and then he showed some other dude the cards trying to be a badass.

also, i agree that the dealer can tell you the cards the guy flashed, but should not say anything about the bet after the fact. it is your responsibility to be paying attention, and i think most house rules prohibit this.

[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] mflo