[jba]

dude, is your employer a big dick or something? most people understand people moving on. If you are as good as you say you are and he doesn't give you a good reference he is a complete tool. Just tell them the truth and that you don't feel like it's the best fit anymore. At the end of the day it really is just a job and you're probably making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.

FYI I have quit a few times and I've never written a resignation letter. maybe that's weird..

I wouldn't lie in a reference. It will probably work but it's silly. If you think they'll give you a bad reference don't use them. Just ask and you should get a pretty good idea. Or get them to write a letter of recommendation so you have an idea of what they'll say..