1. Obtain a spoon.
2. Place spoon in eye socket.
3. Gouge eye out with prying motion.
4. Insert top of bottle into empty socket.
5. Dig edge of bottle cap into exposed skin in socket.
6. Count to three and pull bottle out of socket whilst continuing to push in direction bottle cap is dug into skin.
7. Fill empty eye socket with Neosporin.
8. Force eye back in socket.
9. Smile and enjoy!