hey man,
I'm from raleigh and lived there until I was 22. a while back I posted about things to do in raleigh, that post is
here .
commuting to rtp is kind of a pain, I did it for years and it took me ~30 minutes from downtown raleigh. I really like downtown raleigh and would recommend looking at houses in historic oakwood and/or five points if you want to be near downtown. both are really nice areas.
for cheaper housing, garner is just south of raleigh, very close to downtown as well as the beltline and still very cheap. cary is boring as all hell and has no culture whatsoever.
there are parts of durham that are nice, and parts that are very ghetto. chapel hill is nice but very expensive.
feel free to pm me if you have more questions.