spastic child pounding sticks on cow hide stretched over metal cylinders,

I'm not sure if those bases are fitting. Do people really undervalue kissing that much? Perhaps I'm gonna sound like a woman, but there's a lot to be said for a good kisser. If a girl can't kiss, she's out, in my book. So, we have to put kissing in there somewhere. Since I stopped being a little vagina (this probably happened at 17, though I'd entertain arguments for 18), I havent met a girl that minded me placing a hand on her breasts while she stuck her tongue down my throat... so, perhaps you're right.

1st - Kissing w/tongue & boobies

So, once we establish that 1st is obv french kissing & some boobage, where do we go from there? Straight to oral? Im not so sure. I think 2nd has to be some combination of removing clothing & getting her hands on your junk, or vice versa.

2nd - General nakedness & mutual masturbation (the "heavy petting" we talked about in health class)

That leaves oral for 3rd. I think that's fair. Today's BJ is yesterday's handjob. Muff diving is in, too.

3rd - Oral sex0r

Fourth is simple too, once we do it like this. I dont think we can say that SIIHP is as common as people like to think/claim it is... most women that I know (including one of the two whom allowed me to complete such an act) shy away from the idea. So, SIIHP is like, hitting a walkoff homerun. 4th is actual intercourse.

4th (Scoring) - Sex

We can continue the baseball analogy if we need to.

SIIHP - Walkoff homer
2 Chicks - Walkoff homer to end a WS game
Getting [censored] in the butt with a strap-on - Blowing game 7 of the WS

Contributions?

yasher