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you're getting better KKF


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I hope you're right. He hasn't posted since this a.m.

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I am still alive.

Private messages made me see through to another day.

These public messages are making me wish I hadn't. I'm not a [censored] thief, I don't want to be staked, I just was looking for some guidance on a public message board that I know gets millions of hits daily because there is nothing for suicidal people online. I don't want to talk over a phone to some hotline.

Talking online last night made me feel better, seeing these messages today just makes me feel like dogshit.

There is a bad side to poker, your girl can hate it and make you quit and then when you don't have that income anymore she can leave you and stick you with tens of thousands in bills.

Whatever I guess it really doesn't matter, I guess I see what the majority of the board thinks of me, like I'm some 12 year old out to score money.

[censored] that, I don't want your money, I just wanted support, and some talk and maybe some guidance. Apparently I should have just sucked it up and called a hotline and had them tell me "You don't want to do it, please don't."

Instead, I'll probably just steal from my own mother because there's a huge reload, try to roll it up far too fast, bust, and then blow my [censored] brains out. Not like anyone would really give a [censored], because I know I don't think I give much of one anymore either.