Please read this first
Your life probably sucks right now, and I know exactly what it's like to be unbearable, but I can't see how you are in a position where suicide is the best option.
I know exactly what you are going through. For very different reasons, I was very close to ending my life a couple of times back in 7th grade. Looking back, I am unbelievably fortunate that I decided not to end things. My life is amazing now, and it's absurd to me when I think about how close I was to ending it all.
Maybe the next week of your life will suck. Maybe the next month will suck. Maybe the next year will suck. Maybe the next couple of years will suck. Maybe.
If you end your life, that's it for your existence on earth. You will be no more. All that joy that you could have experienced in the rest of your life will no longer have a chance. Maybe you will fall in love. Maybe you will have kids. Maybe you will find some meaning for your life. There is no maybe if you end it all tonight.
Through my depression, my biggest regret was not talking to anyone. I had a few real close friends, and my parents were very loving and supportive, but I was always too afraid to bring it up with them. There was a lot they could have done to help, from emotional support to doctors to drugs. I never gave them a chance to help out, and I almost screwed things up for myself by doing that. I am just very fortunate to be here today despite my stupid actions (or lack there of) in the past. I hope that you will make the right decision, and you will be here too, for decisions other than luck.
Stealing and poker are probably not the answers for you. Talk to your mom. Talk to your other family / friends. See what they recommend. There are always other options. They're not always fun, especially at the start, but they are options none the less.
-Don't do it
-Justin Bonomo
|