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how could being told about it on a forum be 5% as funny as watching?

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because I want to know nowwwwwwwww.

My TiVo cut off right after the Scientologists threatened to sue Stan for defamation.

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You only missed seconds of it then. Lots, lots more Scientologists shout about suing him. "You are soooo sued" etc etc. And finally the news announcer appears and says all three of the celebs have come out of the closet. Bit of a weak ending.

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In the end credits every name was replaced with "John Smith"

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Jane Smith as well.

Does this tie into some Scientology belief?