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I guess the real trick in trying to get someone to correct behavior is to keep any sort of "confrontation" non-confrontational.

Talk about observed behaviors without attaching your personal values to them. Express your concerns in a way that doesn't automatically force your friend into a defensive mode. It's really hard.

Be specific. Ask your friend how he feels certain actions he's taken have worked out. Don't tell him he's made "horrible" decisions.

Come prepared to offer him choices. Not an either "my way or you die" thing. Ultimately, he needs to make the hard choice.

Offer your support if he decides to make changes. Unconditional friendship.



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I think this is good advice. Perhaps you and your friend can team up and explain this to him together. I would also add that, although you don't what to be overly preachy, it is important to express your deep concern about the direction he has taken. Make it a health/quality of life issue rather than a morals/values issue.

As a last ditch effort, I recommend talking to his father.