View Single Post
  #76  
Old 11-15-2005, 03:54 PM
Blarg Blarg is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,519
Default Re: Opening Lines for Chicks @ Coffee Shops

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I often opened to girls in bars and stuff with 'you look interesting, can I talk to you for a bit?'

[/ QUOTE ]
Mmm... I don't know about that one... it gives away a ton of personal power and basically communicates that I'm a wuss / pushover, which I'm not. Good suggestions otherwise.

[/ QUOTE ]


I never had a 'no' at this point, it's complimentary without addressing appearance (which is the usual guy thing and something lots of women have built immunity to). And it's very, very quickly forgotten once the talking starts, as it's quite neutral.

So unless American women are very different from English women, I'd be very surprised this isn't a good opener for you.

We need Dom or women to give a proper view on this...

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think this is bad at all. I think women are just as happy to get the preliminaries out of the way so you can just talk as you are. Whatever gets through the awkwardness of meeting a stranger quick is cool. I've found women seem to like just relating to them without any hype quite a bit, so if you start off on that ground already, it's often very successful. You will actually stand out from a lot of guys if you make an intro a low-pressure thing. It shows confidence that many guys don't have, doesn't seem phoney, and doesn't get you as dangerously close to the land of begging, bullcrap, and loserdom as trying to flatter them right off the bat does. Women like men who know how to speak to women, so if you just do it instead of filtering it through some self-protective or self-deceptive mechanical or hopped up "guy" schtick, you walk in a door that makes you more interesting automatically. Girls can have any guy kiss their ass or bullshi_ them, but not as many guys just come up and have a cool enough conversation with them and make them feel comfortable right away. Being a real person can really cleanly separate you out from the pack sometimes.

This is actually one of the reasons women like assholes so much too. An [censored] just is who he is and says what he wants. Anyone can relate, even if they hate his guts. And women can relate to a clean break from the bullcrap, too. Even if it's from a regular dude or Mr. Nice Guy.

Once you start weirding yourself out or holding them up as something strange or special, you give the both of you something strange and uncomfortable to work through, and it's no fun for them. (Or you.) And you fall into the Just Another Guy pile, which is very closely related to the Rejects pile.

Sometimes being yourself isn't going to work, but at heart, most people with their heads screwed on straight can relate to a regular old normal person pretty well, at least well enough to give you your fair shot. Even if you don't get anywhere romantically just by being straight out real with someone, you've given yourself the best chance by starting on a normal level, and the both of you can still remain unweirded out pretty easily even if there are some stumbles or a rejection. And women can be surprisingly grateful for someone just talking to them like a human being instead of polishing their moves, shooting their angles, doing the same old predictable flattery, etc. Everybody likes to be put at ease in social situations; if you can be the guy that makes them feel more at ease rather than less, you're automatically different and nicer to be around than a hell of a lot of other guys, many of them much richer, or smarter, or funnier, or better looking than you.
Reply With Quote