You and I are not ideological friends. Nonetheless, please believe that the following comes with the best of intentions and from the heart.

You need to change jobs. You know this. You cannot be miserable, let alone let it affect your health. And its not the hours. I work more like 80 hours a week and I love my job. It's that you are doing the wrong thing for you.

And that you are good at it is irrelevant. Eventually, your performance will slip and less talented people that love it all will pass you by. At law school, there were plenty of people there that were smarter than me. I graduated first in the class becuase I loved it more than they did.

Nor should you let fear of being a "quitter" haunt you. People change paths -- especially your people just starting out. If, as you say, you are willing to settle for a smaller salary there will be people out there that will hire you at that salary and let you prove your worth.

I won't comment on the poker-for-a-living option, except to say that I believe it to be a bad idea for MOST people. I don't know you well enough to say it is a bad idea for you.

As for game development: if this is your dream then go for it. Pound on doors and keep trying until you get SOMEONE to hire you. Offer to intern for a few months for free if that is what it takes to get in the door, then knock their socks off. Saying that these jobs only go to insidres and friends is not only nonsense (it's a growing industry), it's a cop-out. Persistence is the key. If you really want this then you can make it happen. It is only a question of whether you really want it.

I do not for a second buy that your job has to be mindless and soul-sucking, and that that is "just life". Even for those who are not as fortunate as I, who have found something I truly love, a job is what you make of it. If you can't get paid doing something you like then you need to find something that you don't hate and can do reasonably well, then fill your outside life with good things. BUT EVEN IN THAT SITUATION, your time at work doesn't have to suck. You should be able to find some good things in interaction with your coworkers alone.

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I've been making the responsible decision everyday since I was 5. I've always been living for the future. Now that it is here I hate it. I'm totally lost and don't know what to do.

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The "responsible decision" is typically the safe decision or the decision that society pushes us toward. It is not always the right decision for each individual. When I was 26 I had an ok career and a mediocre to bad marraige. I was getting older and my dream of going to law school was receeding. Eventually, I realized that if I waited any longer I'd be over 30 when I graduated, which I felt would be too late to start another career. It was now or never, but my then-wife would not have supported a decision to go back to school with the attendant fiscal and lifestyle consequences.

I eventually decided that if I did not go to law school, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I went, and it was the best decision I ever made. My marraige ended, but that was for the better, too. I have since remarried to the love of my life and I am about to become a father. I love what I do and make a ton of money. Life is not perfect (I REALLY, REALLY need to exercise more!), but I am very, very happy.

My decision to transform my life was not the "responsible" choice. My mother hated that my marraige ended and did not want me to make a decision that my then-wife would not agree with. My sister wouldn't talk to me for a year (we have since reconciled). I don't have a single friend from my former life.

But it was the right decision for me.

Follow _your_ dream, not the dream that others tell you you should have. And don't be an ass and wait until you're 26 or 27, like I did.

Good luck.