[PJS]

Hi LuckyInPast.

I urge you to seek help, whether it be a doctor or a psychologist. Suicidal thoughts cannot be left alone. Personally, I think you have made a huge step forward in posting you thoughts and feelings here, and this can be a stepping stone towards better things.

As others have noted, you will certainly not be a failure for seeking help. With the increasing pressures of society, you will be surprised by how many people actually need help.

I can tell you that doctors are willing to help, from personal experience. I know what it is like to hit an all time low, and it was only by going to see a doctor that things started turning around. Granted, things are not 100% at the moment, but they are on the way up. I'm sure things can work out the same for you also.

Good luck,

PJS