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I'll start at the top..

"I'm pretty sure I was the only 23 year old in the world that thought he would win the WSOP Main Event"

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He should have said "I'm pretty sure I was the only 23 year old with red hair, glasses, and acne in the world that thought he could win the WSOP Main Event." Even then, he's probably wrong.

I like "I can dodge bullets, baby." He then proceeds to get shot.