[diebitter]

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But the fact is that people go through different emotional issues. relationships get stale. people get in ruts. this post-childbirth thing is very common. and yea, when you're in a relationship, sometimes you have to work at it. sometimes it's one of you having a problem, sometimes it's the other. and you have to help each other out of those ruts.

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I have pretty much agreed with everything you have said in the thread (and had some similar ideas about wineing and dining) but this is the key part of any long term relationship, even more so when kids come along and things change dramatically, your identities change, the dynamics of being a couple change. Somtime you get pissed off and wonder what you are doing still there, it doesnt mean its a bad relationship or one of the spouses isnt worthy of it. Its just life, you have to work damn hard at it.

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All solid, except one addenda. Sometimes guys (and gals) work really hard at it, and at the end, it still doesn't change. This can be even more desolating, but it is obviously way better to try and maybe fail than not even try.

By all means, put as much energy into it as you possibly can, but don't just assume it'll be enough to fix it, that's all.

And I don't think this has been touched on - think hard about your relationship with your kid(s), and how your relationship with them will change if you and your partner can't resolve this problem. Sometimes you need to bear the problem, sometimes not, I guess.

What are your priorities, is what I'd say you need to consider uppermost.