[jakethebake]

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you make this sound like a [censored] business proposition: "if you don't want to sell me a television, i'll go get a better deal from your competitor." IT'S HIS [censored] WIFE. if she's going to cheat on him and the only communication that has occured is along the lines of "oh sorry about last night it's just that i'm so stressed with work" she's a terrible spouse and not fit for marriage. i'm not saying this is the case, just expanding on the justification you've laid out.

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that wasn't really at all what i was saying, but i don't entirely disagree with you either.

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there's also no way i would take the appealing to her femininity route if i hadn't done anything wrong, and it seems like the original poster is a reasonable and understanding guy. i don't think he needs to reward somebody for hosing him or being unable to tolerate the difficulties of a normal day of life. sex isn't a gift from her to him, it's something they should be sharing with equal value for both. if that's the case, why should be NEED (not want, but NEED - this isn't a cool romantic bonus he's giving it's a requirement) to put in intense amounts of effort so that she can get the same thing that he's getting?

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and this is even further from what i was saying. it in no way conflicts with what i was saying. But the fact is that people go through different emotional issues. relationships get stale. people get in ruts. this post-childbirth thing is very common. and yea, when you're in a relationship, sometimes you have to work at it. sometimes it's one of you having a problem, sometimes it's the other. and you have to help each other out of those ruts.