[Lash]

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Now, when I have some stress, I can't handle it anymore. I give up and I try to run away from my problems.

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Thanks for posting. And you are not alone...

Earlier today I drank 2 bottles of wine and decided it would be a good idea to play poker. I went on-line and acted like a total ass, challenging random opponents to heads up matches and calling everyone at my table a "beotch". The worst part is that the only way I know this all happened is because I requested hand histories. I couldn't remember.

When I sobered up a few hours ago I was feeling totally devastated....depressed and selfish. My girlfriend won’t even talk to me. I felt like an ass just for wallowing in my own self-pity, but at the same time I liked it... go figure.

Anyway, just letting you know you are not alone. I can't figure out why I always try to find ways to escape reality. I guess I'm running away from problems... but my stubborn ass won't admit I have any... or can't find any problems.

I love my life, girlfriend, my family and myself. I am generally very happy and I feel successful. Yet at times I get lazy and just get f'd up for no apparent reason. What's the problem? I have no clue. Guess we are just human, and I probably need a shrink and/ or religion.