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idea from the somewhat famous internet email about the boy & girl who co-wrote a piece of short fiction writing one paragraph at a time and then alternating and it turned into mayhem(dont have a link, but very funny).

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Here it is:


"Today we will experiment with a new form of composition called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or
her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short
story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back
and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep
the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish
to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."


The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.


STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile,
which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too
much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she
felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness
was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started
acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.


(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in
orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses
of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty
night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his
transgalactic communicator "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of
nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct
hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last
pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings
for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the
peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when
the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.


(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles
above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion
missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within
two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to
stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile
entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive
explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The
President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going
to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"


(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner
is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.


(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are
the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have camomile tea? Or shall I have
some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

(Rebecca)

[censored].


(Gary)

Bitch.


(Rebecca)

Wanker.

(Gary)

Slut.

(Rebecca)

Get f****d.

(Gary)

Eat s**t.

(Rebecca)

F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!


(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.


(Teacher)

A+ - I really liked this one.