[diebitter]

Ok, nothing to do with the OP's question, but funny dry cleaner story.

I was with a medical student friend, who'd been to a fancy ball, hired a tux, got lucky and scored with some floozy in a big dress, shagged her, and got, er, stains on the trousers.

I went with him to the dry cleaners and when he laid them out in front of a shop full of customers queuing, and the assistant casually asked him what the stain was, he said in the loudest possible voice, without a hint of jokiness, shame or anything, 'IT'S JISM!'

A stunned silence followed (well, it is England), and the shop keeper scurried off, red-faced, while the rest of the people just stayed completely and utterly silent.