View Single Post
  #8  
Old 09-30-2005, 04:28 PM
bad beetz bad beetz is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: San Jose
Posts: 1,142
Default The Chinese Hangover

I told Sucker that I would not take 4 shots of the Chinese for $100. The actual value may be much more than that

Haakee and I both had a shot of the Chinese once upon a time, accompanying about 6 or 7 drinks which would normally not have made us hung-over at all I believe, at least not bad. But we were hung-over for 2 days straight, and my [censored] still didn't feel tight on the third day. (Note... this is ALL Diablo’s fault, he is the devil)

I think the Chinese is bad Chinese whiskey including some arrangement of the following: Freon, strawberries, adrenochrome, nukmaam, 6744 varieties of Chinese herbs that don't do anything except confuse your kidneys, ground up Jimmy Hoffa bits, and turpentine. It's all 200 proof, and it’s cursed by Lo Pan himself (that totally bad ass mofo from
Big Trouble in Little China. [see it.]).
This what the ingredients are… I mean , at least that was what the one eared bunny with MJarv Albert’s face told me while he gave it to Battlecat from behind. Actually I think it was Cringer… memory hazy

If you take shot you will be hung-over for a week.
Here is what happens if you drink more than one, (IMHO)

1. 2-3 day hangover
2. You die 13 days later three steps out of your bed.
3. You bleed out of your pores, but it's not blood it's semen. Blood shoots out of your ears and hits other people at the bar. The regulars get up out of their seat when they see youheading for the third shot.
4. Your head explodes and confetti comes out
5. The people around the bar begin to attach themselves to your appendages and you form into Giant Robot called “The Chineseecons” and you battle another giant robot for world supremecy
6. OUR sun novas, and it is hung-over for 3 eons.
7. Time goes backwards, and E now equals M*Csquared*A where A is the number of shots of the Chinese you drank
8. The Facts of Life is re-aired, and Tooty I played by Chris Tucker.
Reply With Quote