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TL;DR

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FYP. My sentiment exactly.

I did see this, though:

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I completely convinced that Absolute poker hates me

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Absolute is a trick in itself to play: your typical table (at least at 1/2) is one semi-loose passive, one donkey who at any given time may three-bet with no pair no draw, and six weak-tighties.

The LP is dying 3 small bets at a time, the donk is feasting on the weak-tighties by making them fold at will, and you're trying to figure out whether to play tighter or looser, call down, reraise or fold to the donkey, and whether the loosie might be able to invite some friends.

And this (because of the caps):

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OK STOP THE F-ING TRAIN. I am down 32BB!

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I don't see a lot of sympathy in your future.