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The thing that got me over this irrational fear is to simply realize that when you flop a set against someone with a flush draw, you are a bigger favorite to make a full house than they are to make a flush. Since your three of a kind always takes away one of their flush outs, you have 7 outs on the turn and 10 on the river to a boat. They only have 8 outs on the turn and less on the river (since a non-flush turn could counterfeit one of their outs depending on if the turn pairs them or not).

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Just a nitpick, your three of a kind doesn't always take away a flush out. If you have 3[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]3[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] and the board is 3[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]T[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]Q[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], then they still have 9 flush outs.

Also, I'm not sure what you mean when you say they have fewer outs on the river depending on whether the turn pairs them or not. I'm probably just dense, but maybe you could explain that a bit more.