[SA125]

I think the phrase "defined by" is wrong as it relates to the decisions you make that effect the course of your life.

For example, I think there's two distinctions that can clearly be made for a grown man. One is how he's defined, which is done by others, and the other is what decisions has he made (few/many - large/small) that have made the biggest impact in his life.

You're defined by many people for different reasons. Those who know you best, friends and family, may see you as a good, hard working family man who provided for and loved his family and was a great friend. Forum observers may see you as great or horrible. How you're defined is based on others perception of you and can vary greatly.

However, decisions that you make, such as turning down jobs or marrying the wrong person, can have a tremendous effect on the course of your life and how fulfilling and rewarding it will be. That won't vary much at all.

I have two family members who turned down civil service jobs when they were young. The job now pays $60K a year with great benefits and 20 yr retirement. They list that one decision as their single biggest mistake in life. They both would be retired now taking home more money than they're still working for. A friend of mine failed the urine test for the same job, got DQ'd, and feels the same way. His biggest regret too.

But those decisions don't have any effect on they'll be defined in life.