[poker-penguin]

My employment history (full and truthful unlike on all my resumes [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img])

1) KFC - 2.5 years from age 15. Decent money, actually liked my job most of the time.

2) Officer Cadet - it was the best of times, it was the worst of times as the cliche goes. I got to do cool [censored] like firing anti-tank rockets, grenade launchers, a claymore, a GPMG, full on laser-tag training exercises. I also got to survive on 4 or 5 hours sleep a night and constantly get punished (I was somewhere between Yossarian and Private Joker) - sometimes for stuff I did, sometimes for stuff I took a fall for.

3) Selling discount cards door to door - walk around all day, make $20 or less on a bad day? Bleh.

4) Market research - 2.5 years ringing people up asking them questions about mobile phones. By the end I could conduct a survey with my eyes closed or while reading a magazine, or while recieving a blowjob - just the once unfortunately, and the quality control monitor said that I sounded a little distracted (they checked some tapes from the evening shift the next day when all the suits were in the office).

5) Museum attendant at a little museum. This job was 1337. It was right next to university, so I'd rock up between classes, sit behind the desk and count visitors (sometimes as many as 10 in an hour!) while doing my readings or playing games on the laptop (no Internet which sucked, because I also started playing some card game for money at about this time).

6) Barista / Barman / Cook at a ski hill. I also looked after the University ski lodge (massive parties every weekend - typical schedule for me was work friday till 6pm, wander 200 meters home and into a slowly developing party. Party till 3am, sleep till 6am, work till 6pm (incuding a two hour ride break), go home, scream "Honey I'm a [censored]" which was the cue for one of my buddies to get a strong vodka and coke ready for me, down that, take a beer up to the shower, shower and drink, party till 3am (and roughly 50% of the time reap the benefits of having the only private room in the building [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]) sleep till 7, wake up go to work and try not to burn myself until I could go home fall asleep and be ready to ride monday and tuesday. Wednesday was pub quiz night (which my team won 2/3 of the time), thursday was payday, then we were back into the weekend.

7) Housekeeper / janitor at a different ski hill. Boss was an [censored], I was on min wage, but I got to ride every day and my co-worker was hot and great fun to be with.

8) Running an Internet business. We have a service that makes it easy to set up affiliate websites for online gambling. Good fun, finally starting to make some money.


I'm just about to start a real job in Malta working for a Swedish software company (they run online "bridge" rooms) so I think I'm done with crappy jobs (for a year or two at least until I feel the need to blow off the real world for a while).