[MicroBob]

This really sucks and I feel for you.

The fact that you have a son and some financial concerns on top of everything else really makes this decision hard. But I do think you need to consider yourself.
If you seperate your kid AND YOU will both find a way to survive.
I understand wanting to be there with him as much as possible just to be with him as well as protect him...but you have to consider also the long-term reprecussions of trying to stay in a fairly love-less marriage.


My parents basically did your 4th option when I was around 7 or 8. They slept in seperate rooms and mostly stayed out of each other's way.
Before that they had fought a lot but I really have a difficult time distinguishing between their 'real' fights and my own personal nightmares of them fighting (for a little while...I thought that every fight they had in the middle of the night was just some dream that wasn't going away when I woke-up).

They were both tolerated each other and would still go play Bridge in their local league and go out together, etc. But they still weren't sleeping in the same room together. It was kind of staying together 'for the kids' but also them just making excuses like 'my dad has to be up early for work...plus, he snores' etc etc.

Now...me and my sister DID turn out okay (reasonably speaking) but it is kind of weird.

Parents eventually divorced just 3 or 4 years ago (I'm 34 now) but still live in the same town in Florida and are still reasonably friendly. We all went out for dinner when I visited with my girlfriend recently.
But I think both are happier and less-stressed now. My Dad seems happy in his new relationship and my Mom seems stronger too.

25+ years of just 'sticking it out' (which isn't quite accurate...but is close enough) probably wasn't quite worth it.
Their intentions towards each other and the family and the kids were all good. But I knew at 12 years old or so that they probably should be divorced.
And both would probably have had much happier lives if they had done it earlier.



Way back when, my Mom's parents (my grandparents) divorced when she was about 8 or 10 I think.
Both re-married and both had great families and long and happy lives. My Mom was considered part of both families.
She has 3 half-siblings on her father's side and her step-mother truly considers her a daughter (and I consider her a grandmother).
My grandfather dies a couple years ago shortly after his 2nd marriage's 50th wedding anniversary.

Reason I bring this up is to point out that in a new relationship with a significant-other with an open-mind it doesn't have to be all tension-filled and weird to consider the son from your previous marriage as part of your new family too.


That's just some of my background.


I've been through a divorce of my own which wasn't quite as stressful or lousy as your situation (we both knew it was kind of over...and we didn't have any kids or anything) and even that was kind of tough.

Talk with friends (or counselor) and stay strong.
It will be a long and difficult road ahead that will not suddenly get better...but slowly things WILL improve in your life (regardless of your decision and what direction you go) and things will look good again.
I truly hope things work out for you.