[BOTW]

I’m anti-FAQ except for help with searching and how to post pictures and links. Every forum needs this. However, here’s my version of an OOT FAQ:

Should I start a new thread?
No. You are drunk.

But I’m drunk and want to play poker!
OK, start a private table; post here and in micro since they need your cash.

But I’m not drunk.
OK, it has been posted before--use the search.

I couldn’t find it in search.
Trust me, you are going to get the pile of burning cow crap pic.

What is the pile of burning cow crap pic I got posted in my thread?
This is OOT, they love cows, crap and fire. But not you.

Is pokerjo22 really a dude?
No. She is really zoeymodel.com but got tired of getting hit on by all the losers so she made up the story about being a guy.

That’s not true, she’s a man!
I’ll believe what I want to believe.

Should I go golfing at X course?
Yes. I don’t care if X is the local par 3 or a country club. Just go.

I need a new watch.
No. You are drunk.

Should I leave my girlfriend?
You don’t have a girlfriend.

No, I really have one!
OK, liar. If she is crazy, leave. If not, don’t. Crazy is stuff like skinny-dipping with her ex. Not crazy is stuff like “quality time together”.

Who has the best steaks?
Dude, it is dead cow, just eat it. Try it well done with A-1 or Heinz 57.

What is the significance of "57"?
Although there were many more than 57 foods in production at the time, because the numbers "5" and "7" held a special significance for Henry John Heinz and his wife, he adopted the slogan "57 Varieties." Thus, a new advertising campaign was launched for Heinz 57 Varieties.

Should I sleep with Y?
Yes. I don’t care if Y is fat and ugly or ugly and fat. Get drunk first if you have to.

Is person W hot?
Probably. Do not ask this question without posting pics of W.

Is Z a good movie?
[censored] you.

But I paid to see Z and I didn’t like it!
[censored] you.

But you’ve really never heard of Z?
So what? Your obscure movie is not impressive unless you keep it that way.

What is the best beer?
The one you have in your fridge.

What is the best ABC?
STFU.

Why does Peachy say “mah”?
It is faster to type “mah” then “my”.

Is Jason_t a nit?
Yes.

Is Homer Dead?
No.

Is Dead a homer?
Yes.

Did OOT used to be a better forum?
Yes.

When?
Before you got here.

Rapper DEF is really good!
He is wack and you are a white teen from the suburbs. When you are 16 any music sounds good. When you are 18, the local scene seems like the world. Wait until you are old enough to appreciate all types of music, then come back.

Haha, you don’t even know what “wack” means!
I’m gonna wack you on the head with my 3-iron.

OK, I read this, and it didn’t answer my question, can I post a new thread now?
No.

But it is my Mom’s computer and she’ll be home soon!
So?

But it is about a hot chick and I have pics of her naked.
OK. Don’t [censored] up the links.