Re: Going for the threesome, long run -EV?
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I know you're right, but what about if she brings it up?
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If she brings it up sometime when sober, then I think you should discuss it pretty thoroughly. In particular, I think you should argue the cons fairly forcefully. The jealousy issue is a major one, and if there's even a hint of that it's probably going to be difficult to deal with after the fact. This is the number one reason why my girlfriend would have no interest in it, for example. As for her sober rejection of any kind of hint of lesbian attraction, I don't think that this is nearly as bad. It's possible that she'll flip out about this and pin some of the blame on you, but I think this is far less of a concern than the jealousy stuff.
I concur with most of the posters here that given how you've described the situation, it's probably unwise for you to maneuver for it at all if your main goal is a long-term, happy marriage (assuming that you're happy in a marriage that doesn't involve threesomes.) This goes double for letting it happen some night when she's drunk.
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