[fyodor]

Just got back from a game at a stag and I need to rant into cyberspace about it because my girlfriend doesn't know what I'm talking about.

First I didn't know the prospective groom. A long time friend of mine knows the father of the bride and talked me into buying a ticket for $65. Included open bar and a very nice meal. Worth the price.

A cpl. scantily clad bimbos were selling the standard raffle tickets and I parted with another $40. No big deal.

There was one poker table and they had hired a dealer. My friend and I along with someone else he had brought along skipped dessert to ensure a seat at the table.

The dealer had one deck of cards and it was severely marked. I mean pieces were missing off the backs of some cards. Luckily one of the raffle prizes was a poker table with chips and cards so the best man borrowed the deck from the prize and the game got under way.

The dealer had a severe shortage of chips and only two denominations - $2 & $5. The game was therefore 2/5 with 2 $2 blinds. Whatever. I can adjust.

Turns out there was no need to skip dessert because the most players we ever got at once was 7 and therefore the chip shortage was a nonfactor.

Anyhow I was just there to have fun at those stakes and found someone on my right at one point who was also into straddling. We did a cpl dbl straddles until he busted out.

Shortly after that I straddled alone UTG and when it came back to me I raised as per usual. Now the idiot my friend brought along objects and claims I can't raise myself. I point out that it's a live straddle and we have been doing it all night. He still objects and the dealer backs him up. It is now against the rules to raise yourself. They have never heard of this straddle thing.

This pisses me off severely as I have been playing half my hands blind as it's only 2/5 and I was just trying to have fun. I mean I didn't expect to make a lot of money at this game - the rake is 10% with no cap so that the groom can take home some cash. But now not allowed to even have fun I guess I have to start looking at my cards and play some poker.

It is about this time the bimbos start calling the numbers for the raffle prizes. I glance at my series of tickets and note that I have from 868029 through 868087 or something like that. About the 3rd number called is 868047 so I know I'm a winner and shout out Bingo from the back of the room where the poker table is. As I get up and extract the tickets from my pocket I see some old guy go up and claim my prize. I pass him as he goes back to his table with my prize and tell one of the bimbos that I am the winner. She says "we're on the next number already". I ask what the last number was and she finally produces the other half of my ticket. I ask if she checked old guy's ticket and she claims she did. I put my half with the correct number right next to her half and ask again "are you sure?" "That's weird" she says and the best man steps in and gives me a bottle of Chianti.

Anyhow I won $70 at the poker table plus the wine for a net loss of about $15 and a Friday evening.

Thanks for listening.