[MediaPA]

Ok, here's the story. I started playing holdem in May. 3 days in New Orleans and I was kind of hooked (-80,+100,+130 at the 3/6 tables). I ventured into the online game. promptly proceeded to lose a fair amount of money playing 2/4. Which I never properly bankrolled myself for. Heck I never even knew what bankroll management was. Anyway, long story short, I drop 1200 online. I managed to get it back to even through more poor bankroll decisions. Kept trying to go for the quick hits 15/30 or whereever else. Dropped down about 3K then. Get back to even. Drop down nearly 10K. Back to even.

So in this I've been really lucky because honestly I didn't know what I was getting into, about the game, or about myself and gambling. I have major tilt/bankroll management issues, which will kill any poker player and especially one as naive as myself. To illustrate the point, I played 200/400 HU limit with the 6K that I had built up from 600 after being down 9k. Enough said.

Now, I'm so adverse to losing because I've seen the path that I can go down and it's a scary one. I built back up playing mainly 2/4 NL but right now, losing a buy in is extremely significant to me. When I was down, all I thought about was working my way back to even and making moves/plays to get there if I saw any edge. Now that I'm even again, I look for ways to protect myself from drawing hands too much or fold when I should be calling to save the money because my hand isn't that solid. I've become too tight. I guess the only real solution is to just move down to micros and 'have fun' with the game. If I build up, great. $2 a day is $600 in a year which builds up over time (I'm only 25)

Has anyone else gone through this, or have advice. Also yes, I know I'm an idiot and I've counted my lucky stars many, many times.