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My "best" night.

Begin around 3:00pm. Enjoy day off. Drink case of milwaukees beast light. Nectar of the gods. Piss of pansy theater-magor roommate by calling him a [censored]. When he points out he has a girlfriend, describe how girlfriend looks like a twelve year old boy, how you think its crap hes cheating on her, and try to kick his ass. Let other roommate intervene since you have many more people to piss off.

5:00. Dine at italian dive that has 2 for 1 pitchers, and whose hot waitresses only charge you for about every fourth. Drink copious amounts of alcohol, with a few shots thrown in. When some chick from your work, who no one really likes, interrupts your drunken non-sense with hers, look coldly at her and say with as much disdain as possible,"you know sunshine, the only reason you are here is no one is willing to tell you that no one likes you, you dumb drunk bitch." Then go on to make fun of the fact that she has some STD that no one is supposed to know about. Try to leave without paying but after tipping. Thats a tricky one.

Go to club. Have no been intensely consuming alcohol for several hours, and am in and out of reality. To snap back to, first spill beer on some fratboy's girlfriend. Let your hot chick friends almost mediate a resolution before wisely chiming in that he is a "gay-ass pussy" (im told thats what i said) Then, after he apparently does nothing, suggest to hot-chick friends that its time to go find some drugs, and, according to their reports "not some nice ones."

Do drugs with coke dealer. Everything is cool. for now.

Go to house party. Piss off several people that no one cares about. Make sure you are bigger and drunker than they are. Steal other peoples beer, then chug it in front of them. Mock them for not saying anything. Break something fairly irrelevant, then almost break some sort of hierlook, like a hand mirror or something. Decide its time to go after some chick tries to slap you, and you wisely decide not to kill her.

Go with friends to other party. Blackout for good.

Wake up the next evening, thankfully at home. Hear good(?) stories about how the soberest thing you did was clock some jerk that was being an ass to one of our chick-friends. Then urinate on someones car. Then on someone. Then, encourage chicks to get naked. The impact of this was softened somewhat when some actually did. Attempt to steal hosts playstation 2. When this fails, succesfully steal several dvds. (thank god for hoodies with pockets) Tell your close friend that she is a cool person, who you enjoy being with, but usually she is just an emotional drunk bitch. Leave party. Walk home. somewhere along the way, obtain gym bag that has fifty dollars in it.


seriously. I am surpized that i survived 22. That was such an insano year for me. Emotional problems, chemical dependancies, and lack of responsibility. After some time, i am thankfully not at all like the person i used to be. good times.

peace

john nickle