[turnipmonster]

so I'm on the road with this ska/reggae band and it's 4 in the morning and we are driving our 1957 converted greyhound tour bus through the mountains in colorado. we take turns driving, and I like to watch the sun come up so I am driving and everyone else is sleeping. I have just recently learned to drive the bus (no small feat, you have to double clutch and downshift and all this other bullshit).

anyways, for those of you that have never driven a truck/bus, the brakes use compressed air (provided by an air compressor) and they are inadequate for stopping a bus when it is, for example, careening down a mountain. the air compressor is triggered when you press the gas pedal.

so, we are somewhere near vail and we are starting to go down a mountain. this requires downshifting, which is tricky. so I am in 3rd and put it in neutral and go to put it in 2nd, and the gears grind like hell and I can't get it into 2nd. we are picking up speed, so I decide it's prudent to put it back into 3rd. no dice, more evil gear grinding.

at this point everyone's up in the front of the bus and we are picking up major speed. I have been pressing the brakes in a vain attempt to slow us down, and now it appears the compressor is out of compressed air. so while we are careening down the hill in neutral, the bass player is on the floor pressing on the gas pedal to try and get the compressor to compress some motherfucking air so we can hit the brakes. meanwhile the trombone player and me are trying to heave the stick into 4th. the drummer is screaming. I begin looking for runaway truck ramps.

so after much duress we slam the thing into 4th and lean on the brakes and the trombone player and me change places ON THE FLY because he's experienced enough to downshift going a million miles an hour down the side of a motherfucking mountain.

--turnipmonster