Please Read and Respond
 

First, this is pretty much my poker life story and it's gonna be long. Second, I don't know if this is where I should be posting, but the main issue does have alot to do w/ mtt.
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I first met poker when i was probably 13 or 14. After church, me and a couple of my buddies would get together and play .25 ante five card w/ a $5 buy in. we would literally play for hours. Thinking back, it's hilarious as it would take us probably 15 minutes to play through $5 now, but we were the classic loose passive players. Then a few years later, one of my friends saw the wpt on tv. He suggested we start playing NLHE, but i wasnt particulary fond of the game, thus I decided to stop playing. Finally, about a year and a half ago, I went with him to play some HE and got hooked. I loved watching the WSOP and WPT and playing in general. I lost probably the first 10 times we played, but somewhere in there i started to really understand the game. One night, playing $10 buyin freeze out structured NLHE, I won the biggest prize pool our game had seen, $200. The next weekend I took the game down again for $150. I decided I wanted to sharpen my game further and bought TPFAP, TOP, HEFAP, Carson's book and Jone's book. I also bought in for $120 on UB which i promptly lost. This all went down last summer. Then, around October of this year, I bought in at UB again. I ran $100 into $1800 over the course of a few weeks. I won a $50 tourney, got 2nd in a $50, 6th in a $100 and also did well in side games. I cashed 500 out and kept playing. Then one night, ya one night, I lost the rest. $1100. I was pretty devastated. Obviously I was on tilt, played WAY above my roll and blew it, bad. During that time I had also bought the PH dvd's and the HL dvds and decided I would watch them, buy back in for my 500 and play on. I promptly lost all but 100 of my br and entered a $50 tourney which i somehow won and kept my br alive. From here, I just dabbled around, not really making any progress one way or another.

Next I bought in on AP. I lost some of my money (nearly all in side games, tourny cashes kept me alive) and was literally down to the felt after about a month. I had probably 200 to my name. Around this time, me and another buddy found out about Canterbury Parks Fall Poker Classic and swore we'd go. With only 200 bux I had no idea how id make the money, but i was quite determined to do so. My bankroll deteriorated to only 100 and for some strange reason i decided to play the $50 5k guarantee. I must say I played some of the best poker of my life that night. When it went hu i had a 6-1 chip lead. 1st got 1800 and second got 1200. Literally nothing went right. It seriously took about 15 minutes for him to bust me, and no i didnt misprint, i had a 6-1 chip lead and lost in aobut 15 minutes. I had never been so dissapointed to win 1200. I decided I needed to stick to tournys as they were my obvious forte. I cashed out most of my money to pay for our Canterbury trip, and lost the rest in, guess what, cash games. Around this time I bought like 14 new books off amazon to better explore my game and improve and really learned alot. I delved into my trip money and bought in again on AP. I played the 5k for the third time ever and this time i went on a tear. I was playing great and got lucky in the key hand i needed too. I was chip leader the entire ft and went hu w/ about a 3-1 lead and took it down in just a few hands. this left 2200 in my account, 400 of which i took out. In just a few days i had account balance of, you guessed it, zero (guess that's what happens when you're so [censored] dumb you play 50-100 w/ 1100). This time I had no idea what to think. I knew i had to stop playing cash games, but guess what, I [censored] knew that before I wont that tourny and promised myself I would stop. But once I lose a little, I have to get it back, then I lose more, and then I give the rest away. About the beginning of this month i had 1300 in my bank and took 300 for AP, saying I would only play tourneys. I turned that into enough to have 2k in my bank and 300 on AP. Wanna guess where that 300 went? I'm not even going to say. So I had to rebuy for 300 more, which i lost in part to tourny's in part to ring games and then I bought for 300 more. I turned that 300 into 7 and cashed out 350, so i would be able to keep playing. i lost the 350 i still had online in ring games a couple of weeks ago and ordered a bunch more books with the intent of reading some and then putting the 350 i still had in firepay back in. today was that day. Before today, 350 was in my firepay, 1350 was in my bank. I decided I would only play the two $20 tournies AP has every day until i built up a br. But after i busted out early, I saw a juicy looking 7stud game and got down about 40 bux. At this point, my dumb ass decided to chase the loss playing 5-10 short handed HE, a game which i KNOW is very high variance and ridiculous to play on a 28 bet br. But I did anyway. I lost all my money in right around 30 minutes. I then decided to put 350 more of my money into AP from my bank, but they have a 600 limit so i had to stop at only 250. This proved to be plenty as i lost this in approxamitly 30 min playing 2-4 nlhe. I then decided in all my brillance playing blackjack on bodog w/ my remaining $100 in firepay was a great idea. It really doesnt take long to lose that playing for 25 and 50 a hand. Finally I put 250 more on stars to play in some $100 sng's. I actually played very well but didnt money in either. So as it stands i have ~700 in my bank and 32 in stars. another nice loss of 900 bux. I just dont get it. I dont. I don't know what the [censored] is wrong w/ me. I know you'll all say im just an addicted junky, and who knows you're probably right. But I love this game. I love the virual jabbing and hooking, I love the cast of characters, I love everything about it, and admittedly love the risk. I hate losing with a passion. I hate doing what I do on days like this and I don't know what the [censored] to do. Every time I put money in, I say stay away from the cash games, you chase losses and lose more, but I don't ever do it. I don't [censored] get it. I'm sure i am an action junkie, but its more than that. I read everything about poker. I read books on players, stories about poker, along w/ strategy stuff. But I just don't know. It really is just like chip reese says, the mark of a great player isnt how well the play normally, it's when they are losing. I know im not the best, but damn, i feel like [censored]. If i would just stick to tourny's I would have at least 4k in my roll right now. Subtract 3 days losses and that's $3800 right there. I cant even count the number of days i've lost 200-500.<p>
but anyway I guess the point of this post is partly to release some of this, but I would also sincerely appreciate your comments. Hearing that I'm just an addicted idiot will ring truer if i hear from actually poker players and not people that hate gambling in general. Any suggestions or tales are also very appreciated, but thanks for reading and im sorry if i wasted any of your time.

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

take a break

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

advice #1 - Don't play ring games
advice #2 - Don't play ring games
advice #3 etc etc

Seriously, im in the same boat (kind of) in that i win MUCH more from multis than cash games. Limit i can cope with (i play within my bankroll however :P) but NL i just get bored and play too many 78soooted and mess up [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

ANYWAY, try playing the $5 rebuys on AP, they are SOOOOOOOFT - this month i've won like 5 of them, and cashed in about another 5. The $10 rebuys have a similar payout, better players and less gamble in the rebuy period ;[

Learn omaha. The omaha multis on AP are SOOOOOFT - esp the hi/lo ones, i have no idea what im going in omaha and im crushing these multis. I think im break even in the stud ones tho ;p

The guarantee tournaments are great, lots of bad players in them seeing big money, and again now they are mainly rebuys, the bad players become even worse (BRAG TIME - i just came second in the 13k guarantee for $2400!!)

Finally, have you tried playing STTS instead of cash games? When im not in the mood for a multi/no multis on/want to play more tables at once, i fire up an stt - i lose less here

edit - on second thought, if you want to play cash games, how about play tournaments mainly, and use half the winnings for cash games, half towards BR? Or try playing lower limits where losing won't affect your BR as much.

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

fold PF

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

Many people on this site have helped me to become a better poker player. Almost all of my posts, however, have been asking for advice, not giving it. Now its my turn to pay it forward.

My Advice:

- Paragraphs are your friend. Although i fought my way through it, the last section was hard to read, and may scare away many of the people you seek help from.

- I think you know what your problem is. You love to gamble. (Not a problem in my mind) You continue to gamble in a game you've proven you can't beat yet. (A BIG problem)

- I think what you need to do is give yourself a bankroll. You have $700 to your name right now? Put $200-$300 in your poker account. Play a game where you are comfortably bankrolled. A $50 tournament only gives you 4-6 buyins if you don't cash. This is no where near enough to work with. Play the $10+1 MTTs where you have about 20-30 buyins. Your goal should be to never deposit any more money online.

- DO NOT TRY TO WIN ALL $4000+ BACK IN ONE NIGHT. This is how you lose your money. Going for a big score while playing over your bankroll is how MANY MANY players go broke. Why stray from what works? Keep playing your tournaments.

- Set a goal for yourself. A REALISTIC goal. Start August 1st. "In the month of August, I want to make 5 final tables." Whatever you think you can accomplish, give yourself something to strive for.

- Finally, USE THIS SITE A LOT. Read and reread a lot of the information you see here. Post any hands you have problems with (not bad beats.) The advice on this forum has improved my game tenfold.

I hope some of this points you in the right direction. It's true, I'm not even 19 yet, but i understand the your situation (tho i experienced it on a much smaller scale ~$500.) This site will do wonders for your bankroll.

Goodluck in your future.

Jason

- If i missed anything, someone will certainly add to my list.

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

I know how you feel - lately it seems as though every move I make is wrong/unlucky, and every time i cash in, no matter how much, I end up with nothing the next day.

It's tough... often I'm torn between calling someone and talking about it or beating my head against my desk until the pain in my head overshadows the tension in the rest of me. (I think my friends are starting to prefer the desk option)

take a break. erase all the poker programs from your computer, don't go to any casinos... hit up a GA meeting, if you feel like you're about to cash in.

if you must have action, and you refuse to acknowledge your gambling problem/do something about it, do yourself a small favor and play microlimit. stay away from big action for a while. get your confidence back.

this too shall pass.

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

Addictive gambling

Problem gambling includes all gambling behavior patterns that compromise, disrupt or damage personal, family or career pursuits. The essential features include:

* increasing preoccupation with gambling
* a need to bet more money more frequently
* restlessness or irritability when attempting to stop
* "chasing" losses
* loss of control, manifested by continuation of the gambling behavior in spite of increasingly serious negative consequences
* in extreme cases, financial ruin, legal problems, loss of career and family, and even suicide.


Dude, you need help. I'm not Mr. expert or nothing but I don't really think that it takes a doctor to see what's going on here.

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

Ok, I will be the responsible adult here. You sound pretty young. So either you are, or you are just a little immature. Regardless, you may need to give this up. We all have a bit too much gamble in us. Part of the learning process is learning to control it. But you are pretty bad off. You are the poster child for people who hate poker b/c it is gambling. You may love the game, but that doesnt mean it is good for you. I honestly think you should talk to someone. Maybe you will mature enough some day to just play poker for fun and profit, but I would strongly recomend backing off for a while. Outside of tournaments you really werent playing poker, you were just gambling.

If what you wrote is true, you most likely have some talent as a player, but it very well may ruin your life. I know some people that got way in over their head gambling, and they all have stories scarily similar to yours .

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

You seem like a gambling addict to me. The kind of player I both love and hate to see sit at my table. I love it, because you're gonna send my kids to college, but I hate it because I hate what gambling does to you. If I could sacrifice a day's earnings to keep you away, I would. But God doesn't give me that option.

I hate poker. I hate gambling. I hate walking through a casino listening to all those idiot noises slot machines make and looking at all the blank faced morons sitting in front of them. I play this game 8 hours a day because unlike my professional calling, this game can provide a life for the family I hope to have. (true, I love tourney poker)

You need to stop. Professional poker is about discipline. Never sit down at a table with less than 300BBs in your BR. Personally, I prefer 500BBs because I've had -250BB swings. Discipline, discipline, discipline. A LOT of people simply can't do it. Poker is not for you. Stop now.

As for the poker content, if you can't play ring games, you can't play poker. It is as simple as that. Also, all these books aren't going to help you at all without discipline. They'll just make you a more confident idiot (all the better for me). Chasing losses is so foolish. You never had 4K, you must always be in the present. Play each hand correctly and forget about the last hand. I don't think there is much hope for you. You are clearly a gambler. Gamblers are fish.

CSC

Re: Please Read and Respond
 

and this is the first time CSC and I have agreed on a post since someone posted "getting Aces is fun", so we are probably right