Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

Well I've recieved good advice about random people skills crap so hopefully I'll get some good advice about this.

My dad is a very smart and very successful lawyer. He works hard and spends all of his free time volunteering for the community. The overload of work, lack of exercise, and a fondness for Ruffles potato chips gave him a heart attack.

After his first heart attack he briefly changed his eating habits and attempted to work out but it didn't last long. Now he is starting to have the same signs as those before his first heart attack. Basically his temper is out of control and he is very difficult to talk to. I noticed it, my mom noticed it, and my sister (a doctor) is flying in to talk to him tomorrow. My mom doesn't think he'll be around much longer.

Since he's become so difficult to talk to about this stuff I'm going to send him an e-mail with my thoughts. Basically, what I'm asking for is if anyone has any advice on writing this thing. Links to stories about how people changed their life around after a heart attack would be good. Anything inspirational would be awesome. Also ideas to get his ass working out. He's not a big sports man but he likes sailing (won't buy a boat though) and made a very weak attempt at kayaking (bought a kayak but never really followed through). He's very dumb when it comes to treating himself. My brother Mat had to buy a ticket for the Formula 1 race. Then, and only then, did he decide to go. He didn't even go online, he bought a ticket from my brother.

I'm going to include Blarg's descriptions about how peoples taste change over time. Maybe that will help him in attempting to avoid the Ruffles. I need to find links as when he is in this state he won't listen to me. He is so stubborn it's ridiculous. When he is angry (for random reasons) he would rather pay a technician $200/hr than ask for my help setting up a wireless router. When he isn't angry he has no problem asking me for computer help. As smart as he is, he can be extremely stupid, insecure, and short sighted.

I'm probably screwed on this one but I have to try.

-in a pickle

wacki

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

I have no advice, but I hope everything works out man.

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

Is he a smoker?

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

I would almost tell you to send him that post along with a few more personal lines, but its a very specific high risk play, so go with the ABC line...

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Is he a smoker?

[/ QUOTE ]

No. He kicked my butt when he found out my best friend smoked cigs in middle school.

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

Wacki,

I would wait until your sister has had her talk with him, get a report from her about how it went, and then proceed with that knowledge under your belt.

I don't have much specific advice other than the general feeling that what you can convey when talking about your own feelings and how much the situation has you worried and upset will be enormously more powerful than linking to other examples or stories. Some relationships with dads don't necessarily lend themselves to a lot of emotional stuff, but if you can convey the sentiments in your post in whatever terms you think are appropriate in a straightforward and heartful manner, then I think you will have done the best you can.

Good luck,

Sam

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

Wacki,
I really suck at these things, so I don't have much of anything useful to say. I just wish you luck and hope your father can find his way to good health.

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

sounds a lot like my dad minus the heart attack.

My Dad's heart is very healthy, though.

Very difficult to talk to guys like this about anything. From the sounds of things, you probably have some pretty healthy activities that you do (other than posting on and moderating OOT [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]). Maybe you should consider just bringing up how much you enjoy the things you do in your life, without even bringing up his lifestyle.

The power of example sometimes is the only way to get through to very stubborn people.

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

How old is he?

Any chance of his retiring soon?

Any grandchildren he would like to live to see grow up?

The anger/temper/stubbornness aspect is the most disturbing part of this. If he cannot enjoy life, why would he bother trying to prolong it?

If I were him, and at the right age and financial situation, I'd see this heart attack as a wake-up call, and do something like quit work, take all my money and travel the world on a slow boat.

Re: Dad on brink of a heart attack but won\'t change his behavior.....
 

Explain to him why it's a good move for him to stick around.

Do it for the family sounds about right.

Sorry man, this news sucks. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]