Two Plus Two Older Archives - THE NIGHT BEFORE BONUS

Twas the night before Bonus, when all through the house
All the Boho's were stirring, their hands on the mouse;
Neteller was hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Bonii soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Ace King danced in their heads;
Mamma in a Party beanie and I in my cap,
Had just settled in for some four tabling crap,
When out on the 'net there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the chair to see what was the matter.
To the backup computer I flew like a flash,
Popped open Windows and toked up some hash.
The chips on the table of bright faux green felt
Gave the lustre of money as new hands were dealt,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature table, a 6 max my dear,
With a little old dealer, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he'd give me Big Slick.
More rapid than heads-up the bonii they came,
We all whistled and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Crypto! now Stars! now Paradise and UB!
On Prima! on FullTilt! on, Empire and Party!
Top of the waiting list! A big bonii ball!
Now deal away! deal away! Go clear them all!"
On tables to open before the cards fly,
When met with an all-in, raise to the sky,
So up to their puters the Boho's they flew,
With Neteller's empty, and St. Bonii too.
And then in a twinkling I heard on the 'net
The clicking and clacking of each little bet.
As I clicked on check/fold and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Bonii came with a bound.
Dressed all in Party gear, from his head to his foot,
His clothes were all tarnished cause their stuff's NO GOOT;
A full deck of aces he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a railbird who called with Ace Jack.
His eyes--they were bloodshot! from a bottle of sherry!
His cheeks were all sunken, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
The spittle on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a roach he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled the head of this beetch;
He had a broad face and a big old fat belly,
That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a net pro for sure,
Almost pukked when I saw him, he smelled like manure;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
I put a buck on the sidebet, the flop came all red;
He spoke not a word, but his hand took the mouse,
And reraised all my games, with nothing, the louse,
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
While letting one rip, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his table, then pushed in his stack,
And tilted it off, the fool had Ace Jack.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he faded from sight,
"Happy Bonii to all, and to all a good night."