If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

what would it take for you to take it beyond suspicion, and to the point that you would either call her out on it or even break off a relationship of 2+ years?

I'm a regular poster here but don't feel like making this a public issue, but I'm concerned that my girlfriend may have cheated on me. I'm not sure that it was in the sense that she has developed feelings for someone else, but she has joined a sorority and since then has been incredibly secretive and very ready to reaffirm her love for me, which has begun to make me a little bit suspicious, because the combination of the two makes me think that she regrets doing something which might make me question her feelings for me. I would hate to ever think that she would do something behind my back, but I'm beginning to get the feeling that she has done something which she seriously regrets but won't admit to me. It would kill me to think that she had done something to jeopardize our relationship, but at the same time, if she were ever to lie to me about something like that, I think that it would be just as, if not more so, damaging to our relationship.

While I realize that it's pure suspicion that is leading me to believe that she might have done something behind my back, how much evidence do I need to ultimately address her with this issue?

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

Sometimes I swear I'm gonna wear a beret. But I don't do it. Alright.

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

Give this a shot.

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

Just sit her down, stare into her soul, and determine the extent to which she is hiding something. Do this by bringing up the fact that she seems to be being secretive and seems to be withdrawn. Ask a relatively-vague question that can be connected to the subject of cheating, and then just remain silent. If she has guilt on her mind, the silence + you just looking at her can force it out. You'd be surprised.

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

Captain Obvious states: Just ask, and explain why you're asking.

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

Thats a bad move until after the mind-[censored]-guilt-silence lets him stare into her soul

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

I'd play this more LAG:

I'd like to know why you are cheating on me....

I seen you with him the other day when i went to drop by...

Looking a bit cosy with him....

Also sorority, maybe shes getting into girls [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img].

If she flips out on you, just say you were kidding [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] ??

I dont think she will fold at all though, women think they are too clever.

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Thats a bad move until after the mind-[censored]-guilt-silence lets him stare into her soul

[/ QUOTE ]
I just want the poor sap to get it over with quick, frankly. Looking for evidence will brew poison in his mind whatever the truth is.

Having said that, Bright is spot on here. Silence is a very powerful tool, that many (thank goodness) can't actually bear to apply.

Asking just hatches out the poisons (if any) quicker.

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

Just rent a lie detector machine.

Re: If you thought your girlfriend had cheated on you...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Just rent a lie detector machine.

[/ QUOTE ]
2 problems with this:

1) Getting her hooked up to it
2) Getting valid results