Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

I have heard that if u are not hideous looking, have a decent personality (or can pretend you have a decent personality) and know a few "tricks of the trade" you can actually find a girl out there in real life somewhere and have sex with them (read: for free, obv we have all banged real life girls for $$$).

Here is my 3 week plan before my quest starts...

1. Go buy a bunch of new clothes at some hip stores in NYC (I will consult JV on what is in style this month).

2. Work out at the gym 5 times a week. Cardio, Full body...the works. I will probably get a trainer too.

3. Purchase the book, "Finding girls in real life and banging them for advanced players" and read and re-read it till the binding falls off.

4. Clean my appartment

5. Get a haircut and a shave

After 3 weeks I will start to frequent local watering holes, museums, laundromats, grocery stores etc., and see if I can actually find a real life girl to bang.

If anyone has any tips or clues that will help me in my quest I would really appreciate it. If any of you have actually banged a real life girl before please tell the story below and what you did to make it happen, that will definitely help a lot!

Anything else to add please go ahead. If u dont think I can do this thats your opinion, but I have heard people have done it and I don't see why I cant.

Thanks in advance for any help.

GL to me!

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

real life is rigged, don't bother.

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

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(read: for free, obv we have all banged real life girls for $$$).


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real life is rigged, don't bother.

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Sooooo rigged, I never got any money for banging girls!

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

GL. If you don't know everything about weightlifting and you just want to look good, I strongly suggest you get the trainer. You will see the results you want much faster.

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

Instead of working out, I suggest playing more poker and then stuffing your clothing with money to create the illusion of muscle.

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

Also, IMO, Wanna be Big and Fast Seduction 101 are the 2p2s of their fields.

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

Step one is to post hands in OOT for critique. We can't help you if we can't see how you play. Always remember that pics are not only helpful, but essential.

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

Good Adive soma, somewhat creepy u had these 2 sites at your fingertips, but good advice nonetheless. I bet ya people on these message boards have actually banged chicks from real life.

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

I have tried stuffing my clothes with bricks of money before. It didnt work...if it has worked for u please PM me with details, I was obviously doing something wrong. I assume if it works and u get a girl to come home with u, when she realizes u dont have muscle but just a bunch of bricks of money she wont mind?

Re: Banging Chicks from Real Life
 

Ok I have the tips and secrets on how to succeed.

1) Get a really big penis, this is vital. Anyway you can do this, do it. Chicks dig this for some strange reason. 2 inch wang = pathetic. 9 inch wang = your key to the love pudding.

2) Watch all the Hans and Franz you can get your hands on. They make Ivan Drago look like the sissy man he is. "I must break you?" Please, Hanz and Franz piss on Drago. Not only will they *clap* PUMP...you UP! but they will teach you to speak in an accent that melts women into puddles of mushy poo. I cannot stress this enough...accents are overpowering tools to get all the sex you desire. Just ask Arnold. All he has to do is say, "I am Ahhnold," and BAM, women at his feet begging to be his love slave.

3) Forget the shave and a haircut. Haven't you seen Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me? Not only does he get all the poon tang he wants, but the chicks ACTUALLY dig his hairiness. During the memorable chess pieces sex scene, I quote the Russian model who wants to bang Austin into the 21st century, "You are hairy like ANIMAL." If you have to put chia pet goo on your chest, do it. This is standard. Nh.

4) Watch all the Baywatch you can get your hands on. Now that Hanz and Franz have taken care of your muscles, it's time to pump up your sexiness. David Hasselhoff running down the beach will teach you the tricks of the trade you need to bang any female who has a pulse. Purchasing his music albums is an add on that I recommend. Watching the Baywatch boobies bounce up and down is simply a bonus. It will provide you with the motivation you need to get your hands on those precious melons of fun.

I'm pretty sure this has all been mentioned before, but only for a price. I provide these secrets to you, my fellow 2+2'ers, free of charge. Use them, study them, and you too can trick any beautiful woman into foolishly having sex with you when chances are you are way too ugly to deserve it.

Neff