Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table
 

Since the funniest line you ever "heard" thread went nuts recently, I thought I'd change it up a bit.


This can be something stupid that you've said, something witty, but it should be something funny. I'll start us off.

7 Stud/8 home tourney from last night. We are down to 4 players and I'm the chip leader. I get rolled up aces. The player to my immediate right brings it in. I just limp, other two players fold. So we're heads up, and I'm a monster favorite.

By 6th street, I make aces full, having checked the hand the whole way. In the river, I get my card, and bet blind. My opponent calls and I say:


..I've got aces full (I flip over my last card)...oh, I meant quads! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

One guy fell out of his chair laughing.

Anyone else have something funny that they said?


Joe

Re: Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table
 

"Raise."

Re: Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table
 

3/6 lucky chances with a buddy of mine two seats to my right...on his a little messed up from drinking coke and red bull (soda fu[/b]cks me up [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]) so when its his big blind i ask the dealer if i can straddle and she says no...i turn to my buddy and tell him "I guess im not in the right position to straddle you"...we both looked at each other cuz i was totally serious and then we both cracked up (we have immature senses of humor)...hmmm, maybe you had to be there...

MLK Hand
 

Every so often (doesn't matter if my hand is good or bad before the flop), I state that I am about to play a "MLK Hand".

Sooner or later, someone asks what is an MLK hand. I tell them it is a Martin Luther King hand. You can see the wheels spin behind their eyes as they try to figure this out.

Eventually, taking pitty, I tell them ... "I have a dream" [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: MLK Hand
 

I reserve this one for online play, but when I'm thinking about putting someone all in, I ask "How much do you have left?"

Re: Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table
 

I was playing in a very weak 2-4 game in Vegas, and
the dealer was tired of the very slow play by the
newcomers to the game.

He made repeated comments in a semi-derragatory tone
about what action could be taken, who won the hand,
why they won and so forth.

I found a nice comment as I was getting ready to leave:

"Hey Dan (dealer's name), I've gotta go. Just remembered
I'm missing an episode of Sesame Street."

The gal to my right almost bust a gut laughing.

Re: Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table
 

The Funniest Line I have ever said at a poker table...

3/6HE at the Silverstar Casino, a middle aged woman is drinking heavy and cussing about everything and has yet in the last 4 hours to tip the waitresses or the dealers a dime. She folds pre-flop after I raise with AA and the flop comes Trip 4s. Turn 3 and River 7, I win with 4s full Aces, and she cusses me because she "says" she folded the other 4.

I rolled my eyes at her and she said "You got something to say to me boy???" (Being called boy, pissed me off because, although I look young, I am 30 and I am 6'4" and 300 pounds, hardly a boy) and I said "Yeah, Put your Big Girl Panties on and Deal with it!! "

The Table of guys including the dealer rolled laughing and she picked up her remaining chips and calmly left the game without another word.

Living, Learning, and Laughing.
Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table
 

"They're like ATM machines without PIN numbers"

By the way Steve, don't drive those people away from your table.

Re: Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table
 

How much for that tie?

Re: Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table
 

I try not too, but the "Boy" comment gotta little too far under my skin. (I live in the Deep South, I would rather be called a MFer than "Boy") I concur however, Drunk morons are the best to play with. [img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

Living, Learning, and Laughing.
Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]