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I just realised I have no bottle opener. You can figure out the rest.

Re: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 

1.) Place top of bottle on table
2.) Allow just rim of cap to rest against
3.) Deliver sharp downward blow
4.) Enjoy!

-ZEN

Re: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 

1. Wear oversized ring your girlfriend got you on your middle finger.
2. Grab bottle and dig underside of ring under bottle cap
3. Push hand forward and remove bottle cap
4. Enjoy frothy brew to Oooohs and Aaaahs of bystanders

Re: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 

1. place large bowl on floor next to sharp corner of a wall.
2. grab bottle by the neck
3. swing bottle at corner of wall, making contact in the middle of the bottle.
4. bottle will break spilling contents on the ground, mostly in the bowl.
5. drink the beer out the bowl, (dont worry about the glass, pretend its candy)
6. go out to your garage
7. get a hammer
8. begin hitting yourself over the head repeatedly for buying non-american beer.
9. you will be dead, many people will be happy, celebrations will ensue, people will buy a great amount of american beer, the US economy = happy

thanks, hippy

Re: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 

1. Obtain a spoon.
2. Place spoon in eye socket.
3. Gouge eye out with prying motion.
4. Insert top of bottle into empty socket.
5. Dig edge of bottle cap into exposed skin in socket.
6. Count to three and pull bottle out of socket whilst continuing to push in direction bottle cap is dug into skin.
7. Fill empty eye socket with Neosporin.
8. Force eye back in socket.
9. Smile and enjoy!

Re: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 

As I was reading/laffin' a question popped up...