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-   -   Friend w/ Gambling Problem (http://archives2.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=394662)

Woolygimp 12-09-2005 02:18 AM

Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
My friend (friend #1) faces this situation concerning a friend (friend #2) of his:

***
Friend#2 thinks hes "the OKERP Guru." Plays Party OKERP and live and is a horrible player. He's lost in order of 30 thousand or more in the past 2-3 months, and has a massive gambling problem. He's maxed on on the majority of his credit cards and in debt. If friend#1 tells him to get help, he'll view him as giving him the "holier than thou" speech. Friend#1 will basically be telling friend#2 he sucks in his eyes, and he does not want to hurt his feelings.

If friend#1 truly cared about this guy what would be his next move to get him help?
***

My response is, "If my friend cared enough about this guy he should say [censored] his feelings his financial well-being is more important than pride."
Friend#1 views the situation in the fact any concerns about friend#2 are "womanly."

InchoateHand 12-09-2005 02:20 AM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
Truth is, there is nothing he can say or do anyway.

Woolygimp 12-09-2005 02:21 AM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
[ QUOTE ]
Truth is, there is nothing he can say or do anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

So your saying the best line is to say, "f*** it?"

12-09-2005 02:23 AM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
Until he hits rock bottom and wants to help himself, there isn't a lot your friend can do. He can try talking to him, but don't expect much.

Woolygimp 12-09-2005 02:23 AM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
Should he at least attempt to do so?

ChipWrecked 12-09-2005 02:24 AM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
[ QUOTE ]


If friend#1 truly cared about this guy what would be his next move to get him help?
***



[/ QUOTE ]

Post his Party screename here for us.

Then, in a week, he won't have any more gambling money. Problem solved.

Seriously, GA.

SpaceAce 12-09-2005 02:45 AM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
[ QUOTE ]
Should he at least attempt to do so?

[/ QUOTE ]

I want what's best for my friends. I would certainly make an effort to help a friend recognize and overcome an addiction that was harming him. I'd do whatever I could, including encouraging my friend to get help and refusing to be part of whatever activity was at the center of the problem. How the friend reacts to my efforts is out of my control but I wouldn't feel right if I didn't try to help him.

SpaceAce

bernie 12-09-2005 04:25 AM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
[ QUOTE ]
Should he at least attempt to do so?

[/ QUOTE ]

To a point. After awhile you just have to let them find out on their own. Be there for them when they hit bottom if you can. Not meaning being there to say 'I told you so' or anything like that as that doesn't really help anything. But to give them some understanding of their now pathetic situation.

In most cases the guy will have to hit rock bottom on his own. Even then it won't sink in right away until he exhausts all of his excuses and finally comes to the realization that it's his own fault. These types do have a tendency to drag others down with them.

If nothing else, never lend this person money. Ever.

Many times the scenario will play out ugly. The friendship may not even last through it. Be prepared.

b

onegymrat 12-09-2005 05:12 PM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
You recognize two very important things. One, that he is a horrible player and can only lose more money in the future. Two, that he has a gambling problem, which he does not see.

If you truly care for this friend, you must try and intervene. No one else will. Letting him hit rock bottom is a terrible idea. The least you can do is try. Tell him the truth and offer your friendship and support. Unfortunately, you should expect him to reject your opinion and turn his back on you. Forget his feelings, this is much bigger than his ego.

soko 12-09-2005 05:40 PM

Re: Friend w/ Gambling Problem
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Truth is, there is nothing he can say or do anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

So your saying the best line is to say, "f*** it?"

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think I would still be alive today it it wasn't for "f*** it"


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