Noo religon
For all you folks that are tired of the religious discussions going on and are disillusioned by other religions, I'm starting my own.
Before you hit the back button, please hear me out. In my religion you would: -get into heaven AUTOMATICALY. Yeah, pretty awesome. -You can do WHATEVER you want. As a disclaimer if you break the law, your on your own. However, as long as you pay your ahem, tithe, you'll still get into heaven. -Our Lord will not judge you. Unless you piss me off, and then your screwed. However, pay your tithe and you still get to heaven. Why? Because the customer, er, I mean rightous follwer, is always right. -For Sklansky, our Lord can create a number so powerful that no matter how you divide, multiply, subtract or add it will come out as odd AND even. So powerful is this number, that merely thinking about it will cause permanent blindness. -For all you hard luck poker players, you will suddenly find your self hitting your draws at uncanny ratio that is statistically impossible. You're made hands will also hold up, with the exception of ACES in loose games. Everyone knows they don't play well multi-way. Even being Nooish won't help you here. And theres more which I will tell you about after your first donation. How Much? Most religons are looking for 10% and up from your earnings. Well being Nooish will get you into heaven and hitting gutshot straights for only 5%. Yeah, you read it right 5%. No praying, no rules, no books or passages to memorize, no services and no judgement day. Just pay 5% and you're in. Awesome. So go ahead and covet your neighbors wife and start praying to false idols. I don't care. Just pay, and your one of the chosen. Hurray, first 100 members get in at 3% total annual income. |
Re: Noo religon
HAHAHA awesome! allthat religion talk is bother me too!
|
Re: Noo religon
You know, I was just thinking that we needed some more religion threads on this forum. Glad you could add another one. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
|
Your to late they tried this allready.
Your to late they tried this allready. Very successfully to.
|
Re: Your to late they tried this allready.
Yeah, but did they offer 5% AND a statistically impossible number of draws hit? I think not.
|
Re: Your to late they tried this allready.
Ive got a theological question?
What happens when the flock plays amongst itself? |
Re: Noo religon
Too late. I'm officially registered with the Bureau of the Census as a "Jedi Knight."
|
Re: Your to late they tried this allready.
[ QUOTE ]
Ive got a theological question? What happens when the flock plays amongst itself? [/ QUOTE ] Excellent question. The answer of course is proper game selection. Find games with well staked pro's, and play any 2 suited. Not to name drop, but rumor has it that Gus Hanson is Nooish. |
Re: Noo religon
Sorry, only L. Ron Hubbard can create new religions...and maybe Rael. But, hell, I need a change, and that increase in income, I'm in!
|
Bump
I will bump this thread everytime I come to this forum until Nooish is the only recognized religion in the world OR untill all religious talk is ceased from the psychology forum.
Frankly, I'm not sure why you wouldn't join me. I offer all the same promises for HALF the price and none of the BS. Please don't force me to start having people knock on your doors to enlist you. |
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:42 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.