Everyday Dick Moves
 

Inspired by the dickest moves thread. Thread for moves that aren't the dickest, but still can make others' lives somewhat less bearable.

1. When you go to lunch with someone from work, linger a moment as you're leaving the table. Then move his tip over to where you were sitting. Saves you a buck or two, and they spit on his food next time you go there.

2. Fart next to someone in a store, then get the hell out of there before the smell hits, so the other person takes the blame.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
1. When you go to lunch with someone from work, linger a moment as you're leaving the table. Then move his tip over to where you were sitting. Saves you a buck or two, and they spit on his food next time you go there.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is super scummy. If I caught someone doing this to me I would do everything I could to ruin their life.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

This is one I hate when it's done to me.

You're in a long-ass line at a grocery store checkout (or wherever, really). A cashier opens a new lane, and the last guy in line hightails it over there along with everyone behind you. Pricks. I always offer the person in front of me to go over to the new line. This is why stores should go to a single-line, multiple checkout system.

You're waiting at the baggage carousel at the airport. God forbid you leave two feet between you and the carousel, because you KNOW some dick is going to squeeze in front of you and wait there. Oh, go ahead dick...I'm just standing here for no reason. If this happens, I usually push past them with a "'scuse me" when my bag comes out. Hitting them "unintentionally" with my bag is always an option.

We won't go into driving...I don't have that kind of time.

ScottieK

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
1. When you go to lunch with someone from work, linger a moment as you're leaving the table. Then move his tip over to where you were sitting. Saves you a buck or two, and they spit on his food next time you go there.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is super scummy. If I caught someone doing this to me I would do everything I could to ruin their life.

[/ QUOTE ]

couldn't agree more. some single mom is short a diaper now you dick.


cropdusting is a blast though.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
This is one I hate when it's done to me.

You're in a long-ass line at a grocery store checkout (or wherever, really). A cashier opens a new lane, and the last guy in line hightails it over there along with everyone behind you. Pricks. I always offer the person in front of me to go over to the new line. This is why stores should go to a single-line, multiple checkout system.



[/ QUOTE ]

As a supermarket cashier, I am with you on this one. However, one of the most annoying things is when you're already open (usually an express line), and there are 4-5 people in line in the other line, and you say "I can help someone over here" and all 5 people turn and stare at each other while the person in the back of the line is the only one who doesn't act like a moron.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

When somebody is running and yells "hold the elevator please", I'm the guy that secretly hits the "close" button...

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

Driving full speed in todays weather by someone who is digging out his car out of the snow covering him in mud head to toe. I had to go back home and change :/ Mother [censored].

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
Driving full speed in todays weather by someone who is digging out his car out of the snow covering him in mud head to toe. I had to go back home and change :/ Mother [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

hahahahah

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is one I hate when it's done to me.

You're in a long-ass line at a grocery store checkout (or wherever, really). A cashier opens a new lane, and the last guy in line hightails it over there along with everyone behind you. Pricks. I always offer the person in front of me to go over to the new line. This is why stores should go to a single-line, multiple checkout system.



[/ QUOTE ]

As a supermarket cashier, I am with you on this one. However, one of the most annoying things is when you're already open (usually an express line), and there are 4-5 people in line in the other line, and you say "I can help someone over here" and all 5 people turn and stare at each other while the person in the back of the line is the only one who doesn't act like a moron.

[/ QUOTE ]

The problem is that everyone knows the guy in the front of the line has first dibs, but he doesn't always want to switch, so how long do you give him? If I'm second in line I'm always torn between not wanting to screw the guy in front but not waiting too long to claim my spot either.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is one I hate when it's done to me.

You're in a long-ass line at a grocery store checkout (or wherever, really). A cashier opens a new lane, and the last guy in line hightails it over there along with everyone behind you. Pricks. I always offer the person in front of me to go over to the new line. This is why stores should go to a single-line, multiple checkout system.



[/ QUOTE ]

As a supermarket cashier, I am with you on this one. However, one of the most annoying things is when you're already open (usually an express line), and there are 4-5 people in line in the other line, and you say "I can help someone over here" and all 5 people turn and stare at each other while the person in the back of the line is the only one who doesn't act like a moron.

[/ QUOTE ]

The problem is that everyone knows the guy in the front of the line has first dibs, but he doesn't always want to switch, so how long do you give him? If I'm second in line I'm always torn between not wanting to screw the guy in front but not waiting too long to claim my spot either.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I'm behind the next guy in line, I'll point it out to him and make him decide. If I'm that guy but don't want to leave (maybe I've only got a couple items or whatever,) then I'll say "go ahead" to the people behind me.

Of course the dick move is compounded when people behind you leave for the new line and don't let you go in front of them when you decide to leave too. Don't know why everyone is so paranoid to communicate to strangers in a grocery line, but whatever.

ScottieK

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

crop duster seems pretty standard here

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
The problem is that everyone knows the guy in the front of the line has first dibs, but he doesn't always want to switch, so how long do you give him? If I'm second in line I'm always torn between not wanting to screw the guy in front but not waiting too long to claim my spot either.

[/ QUOTE ]
I never move as the guy in front of you. Too many savages don't accept my claim of dibs, and I end up losing my place in both lines. It's quite a bind.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

Grocery store thing: When I'm at the back of the line if nobody makes a move for a couple seconds I'm there. Any longer and someone who wasn't even in the line will be there.

I don't agree with making one line/multiple cashiers tho. Some people like to gamble on their line! I pride myself on being pretty good at this. Sad, really.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
crop duster seems pretty standard here

[/ QUOTE ]

Kay this keeps coming up, and wikipedia talks about crop spraying... spill the beans to a n00b in this subject, willja?

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

Driving:

A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.

Also when someone is trying to get over in the everyday situation and i use the stare ahead and act like i dont see them, its great.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
Driving:

A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.

Also when someone is trying to get over in the everyday situation and i use the stare ahead and act like i dont see them, its great.

[/ QUOTE ]

When I'm in-lane and fairly close to the merge point, I'll drift over a little so that my car is now partially blocking the outside emergency lane, so that no one can race up the side and try to cut in right at the end.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
Driving:

A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.

Also when someone is trying to get over in the everyday situation and i use the stare ahead and act like i dont see them, its great.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm a big fan of the reverse dick moves...

Also in traffic if there are jerks driving by on the shoulder and I'm in the right lane I'll move my car half way onto the shoulder so they cant wizz by. There's really no reason for this except vindictiveness...I should stop that...

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.

[/ QUOTE ]

I always race past everyone, because even though most people don't want to let you in you can always find a sucker.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

Im driving to work on a 45 mph, four lane, semi urban/industrial road. I am in the right lane and I see a tractor trailer making a right. I switch lanes and at no time do I drop below 45, but I make a pickup going about 55 pump his brakes a bit (keep in mind there was a row of traffic stopped infront of me for the big rig).

So I speed up and up to 65 and this guy is still completely in my trunk. I see a red light ahead, slow down and he zooms past me and pulls infront of me just to get to the light before I do.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
crop duster seems pretty standard here

[/ QUOTE ]

Kay this keeps coming up, and wikipedia talks about crop spraying... spill the beans to a n00b in this subject, willja?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's the event that occurs in OP's #2.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
You're in a long-ass line at a grocery store checkout (or wherever, really). A cashier opens a new lane, and the last guy in line hightails it over there along with everyone behind you. Pricks. I always offer the person in front of me to go over to the new line. This is why stores should go to a single-line, multiple checkout system.


[/ QUOTE ]

I used to try and let the person in front of me go first, but after I lost my spot a few times switching over I don't do anyone favours. I also don't think there is anything wrong now with the guy at the back taking hitting up the new lane first.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
Im driving to work on a 45 mph, four lane, semi urban/industrial road. I am in the right lane and I see a tractor trailer making a right. I switch lanes and at no time do I drop below 45, but I make a pickup going about 55 pump his brakes a bit (keep in mind there was a row of traffic stopped infront of me for the big rig).

So I speed up and up to 65 and this guy is still completely in my trunk. I see a red light ahead, slow down and he zooms past me and pulls infront of me just to get to the light before I do.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had some a-hole do something similar to me one day. Driving down a 50 mph two-lane road. I'm kinda neck and neck with another car in the left lane, doing a solid 55-60....no one else around. This AHOLE in a big truck is turning right onto this road I'm on, but he's got a merging lane...well first he thinks he's gonna get in front of me, so he speeds up. There was no f@#$ing way he'd make it.

I can't move over because I've got someone next to me, and I sure as hell am not going to slam on the brakes to let some slow-ass truck in. So the guy in the truck slams on his brakes when he realizes he's only going behind me - which he should have realized before he even tried. We look at each other as I zoom by, and he's cursing up a storm for his gf in the truck. He speeds up and tailgates me for a solid five miles. If I had even tapped the brakes, he would have rear-ended me. F@#$ing dick.

ScottieK

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

Pickups should always have the right-a-way. Bigger pickups go before smaller ones.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
crop duster seems pretty standard here

[/ QUOTE ]

Kay this keeps coming up, and wikipedia talks about crop spraying... spill the beans to a n00b in this subject, willja?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's the event that occurs in OP's #2.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sort of.

Except rather than blast one and then leave the area, you discreetly blow ass and move about the room/area allowing it to waft gently about the room. The crop duster is best utilized as a method of fart distribution, for those days when everyone should smell your rotten ass.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

i've read through the different dick moves.

I pretty much do everyone of them.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

I brake-check people like a mofo because everyone in Florida tailgates. This pisses me off the the extent that I don't give a [censored] if they hit my baby (car) because Florida's got the rear-end law: whoever hits you from behind is at fault no matter what.

On the same note, if we're on a one-lane road and someone behind me is tailgating, I go as slow as legally allowed.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

Walking to my car in a busy parking lot (especially during christmas): I like to walk down the wrong 'aisle' to my car to get cars to follow me walking to get my spot then cut into my own 'aisle' so the guy who was following me doens't get [censored]. I get pleasure from this.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

That's mean.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
I brake-check people like a mofo because everyone in Florida tailgates. This pisses me off the the extent that I don't give a [censored] if they hit my baby (car) because Florida's got the rear-end law: whoever hits you from behind is at fault no matter what.

On the same note, if we're on a one-lane road and someone behind me is tailgating, I go as slow as legally allowed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty sure tailgaters have a special place in hell reserved for them.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
Walking to my car in a busy parking lot (especially during christmas): I like to walk down the wrong 'aisle' to my car to get cars to follow me walking to get my spot then cut into my own 'aisle' so the guy who was following me doens't get [censored]. I get pleasure from this.

[/ QUOTE ]Truly evil, very nice.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.

[/ QUOTE ]

I always race past everyone, because even though most people don't want to let you in you can always find a sucker.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is by far the worst "dick move" mentioned so far.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.

[/ QUOTE ]

I always race past everyone, because even though most people don't want to let you in you can always find a sucker.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep someone will always eventually let you in, but i still hate the guys that do it. One of my proudest moments of my life was when I ran one of these guys off the road and he crashed into one of the trucks with the flashing signs behind it.

I feel no remorse for this.

edit: i didn't even really do anything. The traffic line pace picked up, and he kept trying to speed up to cut me off. My car has a lot more pull and so I just sped up as well. If he had just slown down there was a huge empty space behind me, but he kept trying to overtake me and ran into the truck. At the time of impact I was still under the posted (construction) speed limit.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.

[/ QUOTE ]

I always race past everyone, because even though most people don't want to let you in you can always find a sucker.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is by far the worst "dick move" mentioned so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. Muthafuckas do this and they get got.

This is for real the only thing on the highway that absolutely makes me want to cut someone's throat. I can't stand assholes who do this. Self-important pricks.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
I brake-check people like a mofo because everyone in Florida tailgates. This pisses me off the the extent that I don't give a [censored] if they hit my baby (car) because Florida's got the rear-end law: whoever hits you from behind is at fault no matter what.

On the same note, if we're on a one-lane road and someone behind me is tailgating, I go as slow as legally allowed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I do this all the time. I used to drive an old POS pick up truck and I was SEVERE with my brake checks. Now I drive something nice and dont do it as bad, because it would be waaaay to much of a hassle to get everything fixed if they actually did hit me.

I like when someone is tailgaiting me and in an obvious hurry to get by, and its a 2 lane road and someone slow is in the right lane, I'll just pace them so the guy behind cant get by. But for added fun ill slow down a little bit so the car on the right gets ahead, and then when the guy behind me jumps lanes because it looks like that lane will be faster, I speed up, and when he jumps back into my lane, I slow down again. good times

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:
A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.



I always race past everyone, because even though most people don't want to let you in you can always find a sucker.



This is by far the worst "dick move" mentioned so far.



Yep. Muthafuckas do this and they get got.

This is for real the only thing on the highway that absolutely makes me want to cut someone's throat. I can't stand assholes who do this. Self-important pricks.


[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

Notice these moves (the cashier and the traffic) all involve what order we get somewhere.

The others primarily involve scents.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]
I like when someone is tailgaiting me and in an obvious hurry to get by, and its a 2 lane road and someone slow is in the right lane, I'll just pace them so the guy behind cant get by. But for added fun ill slow down a little bit so the car on the right gets ahead, and then when the guy behind me jumps lanes because it looks like that lane will be faster, I speed up, and when he jumps back into my lane, I slow down again. good times

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly, "good times" is a perfect summation. I only wish I had a bit more patience to do it longer before I get bored and zoom off.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

If some [censored] pedestrian in a parking lot walks out in front of my car and proceeds to walk really slow across the way, I put down my window and yell at them.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

I toss cups of very hot water on frozen windows of parked cars on my way to work.

Re: Everyday Dick Moves
 

[ QUOTE ]


I like when someone is tailgaiting me and in an obvious hurry to get by, and its a 2 lane road and someone slow is in the right lane, I'll just pace them so the guy behind cant get by. But for added fun ill slow down a little bit so the car on the right gets ahead, and then when the guy behind me jumps lanes because it looks like that lane will be faster, I speed up, and when he jumps back into my lane, I slow down again. good times

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, this is definitely a good everyday dick move.