Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

So here's the deal. I have a relative who's very sick in the hospital. I happen to live about 5 miles away from said hospital because I just bought a house there with my girlfriend. When this relative got sick, my mom came down and stayed with us for 2 days which was fine of course. The problem is that 2 days has now turned into 10 and she's showing no signs of leaving. The sick relative is stable and in an induced coma for the next month. So basically, there will be no changes, and no communication from them. Add on to that the fact that my mother lives less than an hour away but says she wants to be closer to the hospital which is why she's staying here. This relative's husband also lives about 20 minutes away. I am on edge constantly because I have to watch myself because she's so easily offended, I can't smoke, and it's generally not much fun having your mother around when you just moved into a new house and are trying to get [censored] done.

So am I just an [censored] for wanting her out of here, and if I'm not, what do I say to her?

PS: Gimmick account because I don't want people here to know I'm dealing with all this.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Tough situation bro.

The best I can offer is for you to be honest with your mom and tell her that if she wants to stay at your place, it will have to be under your rules (i.e. you can smoke, drink, play p*ker, whatever). It is unreasonable for her to expect you to accomodate her for an extended period of time without making any sacrifices herself.

One thing though, make sure you are clear that this is coming from you and not your girlfriend, as this can easily turn her against the girlfriend and make you r life miserable even after she leaves.

Ofcourse, if you are simply looking for agentle way to ask her to leave, you may need to get help from a sibling or other relative who can intercede and tell her that it is distressing to you to have her there for such a long time. Hopefully, she will get the hint that this came from you and leave.

GL.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Dude your mom wants to stay with you for a month and you're bitching about it? This woman gave you life, show some respect. I wish my mother could come and stay with me for a month. Not saying that you shouldn't go on living the way you normally do, and it should be made clear that you will. I think it's sad that you want her to leave though.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

pls post pics of mom

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

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pls post pics of mom

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Hahahahahah! Out loud no less!

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Ask her how long she plans on staying. If it's more than another week, get her a room at a local hotel. Otherwise, suck it up. Small price to pay for mom.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

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pls post pics of mom

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hahaha [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

If its such an inconvenience, smother her with a pillow while she sleeps.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Your mom isn't just "relatives". If she wants to stay close to her relative for a month, so be it. Just clarify with your mom that your commitment only includes her staying there. Go about your own business, dont worry about entertaining her etc.

Swede

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Henry,

When the tables are turned, you will probably reconsider.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

[ QUOTE ]
Your mom isn't just "relatives". If she wants to stay close to her relative for a month, so be it. Just clarify with your mom that your commitment only includes her staying there. Go about your own business, dont worry about entertaining her etc.

Swede

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Yeah, if not a parent I think you could talk to them about shipping out. And you shouldn't have to change your lifestyle just because your mom is there. If she is reasonable (which she should be since you're letting her stay there) she will understand this.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

I feel you Henry because its so irrational of her. If you explained it to her as logically as possible and she still doesnt understand, try tricking her into leaving. Say her other cousin is sick at a hospital near her house.

If that doesnt work, start banging your gf with the door open, say its for 'ventilation'.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

2 things, one its Mom, Mom gets to do what ever she wants, she wipe your [censored] ass when you were 2 she can stay an extra week if she wants.

With that, dont take offence, but how old are you? I "set the rules" with Mom along time ago that I do what I want . IE smoke in my house, dont wash the dishes crap with the door open etc etc. I of course dont do anything horrible but at the same time I don't watch every little thing I have to do like I am 5.

In other words if you just got your own house, you can show mom respect but she also must respect you and your privacy.

With that if mom wanted to stay with me for a year, I'd let her. You only have one mother.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

how old are you OP? just curious.


I agree with most people, you definitely need to let your mom stay (this should be a no-brainer especially under the circumstances), and you need to let her know it's your house.

are you talking about smoking weed or cigs?

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

the way I look at the mother-offspring relationship is that when you were young, she took care of you for everything you could possibly have asked for (at least I'm assuming this much). when she gets older, she needs to lean on her offspring more and more. this appears to be one of those times where she needs your assistance very badly. she was clearly very close to your grandmother/aunt/father/uncle or whomever it is in the hospital (who was it, by the way? I think this matters). you should've put first things first, though, and made a living agreement. it's not too late, though.

I don't think anyone can call you a sick [censored] for wanting her out of there, but I'm guessing you're at a point in your life where your career, your relationships, and your life, tends to take precedence over everyone else's. that's clearly acceptable in some scenarios, but you have to understand where to draw the line and make sacrifices for others. in the case of your mother, consider it a repayment of debt.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Maybe you should work on your relationship with your mother instead of just booting her out of the house. I know its hard to be mature and all, and tell her that you're an adult who can make his own decisions, but in the long run I think its generally a better idea to hash that kind of stuff out as opposed to telling her she can't stay with you.

btw, nice job on titling the post "relative" instead of "mother."

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Am I a dick for thinking that I wouldn't really have a problem asking my brothers or sister to leave? I think them crashing for a week would be fine, but I definitely wouldn't feel the obligation like if it was my parents.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

I hope your mom stumbles on this post browsing your computer that would be the ti.ts

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

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Maybe you should work on your relationship with your mother instead of just booting her out of the house. I know its hard to be mature and all, and tell her that you're an adult who can make his own decisions, but in the long run I think its generally a better idea to hash that kind of stuff out as opposed to telling her she can't stay with you.

btw, nice job on titling the post "relative" instead of "mother."

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Sounds right.

ScottieK

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

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Maybe you should work on your relationship with your mother instead of just booting her out of the house. I know its hard to be mature and all, and tell her that you're an adult who can make his own decisions, but in the long run I think its generally a better idea to hash that kind of stuff out as opposed to telling her she can't stay with you.

btw, nice job on titling the post "relative" instead of "mother."

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Sounds right.

ScottieK

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Sounds right to me too. Thanks

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Just let her know that you do what you want in your own home.

Dick move to kick out the mom.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Hire Billy Crystal to throw her off a train or buy the Room Ionizer from Sharper Image and place it near her bed. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Dude, this is your mother. Have some compassion and spend some time with her now. Your momma didn't raise no whiny bitch.........

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

[ QUOTE ]
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[ QUOTE ]
Maybe you should work on your relationship with your mother instead of just booting her out of the house. I know its hard to be mature and all, and tell her that you're an adult who can make his own decisions, but in the long run I think its generally a better idea to hash that kind of stuff out as opposed to telling her she can't stay with you.

btw, nice job on titling the post "relative" instead of "mother."

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Sounds right.

ScottieK

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Sounds right to me too. Thanks

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Hey, my mom is great, but she will always let me know when I screw up...after the fact. She's one of the biggest I told ya so's around. Annoys the [censored] out of me. But I still love her for having the patience of a saint to not give up on me when I was a little punk. So I try to help her out when I can. Kinda lucky for me, I don't see her having to move in with me since she lives here. GL with the situation.

ScottieK

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

Everybody has pretty much covered all bases on this one.

I can add one other option...pull the plug on the coma person. The simple solutions are often the best ones.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

If you're going to kick mom out, make sure to do it on Xmas eve.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

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I can add one other option...pull the plug on the coma person.

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I'm a man who respects a good coma.

Re: Relative overstaying their welcoime
 

I suggest making this sign and hanging it in your entry way.

"Guests are like fish, when they are fresh they are
fabulous, but after three days they start to stink. " -Ben Franklin