Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

My boss just came by and asked me to say the prayer at tonight's office Christmas party. Here are a few ideas I've come up with so far (right now I'm leaning toward #3 because I like its application to our firm, which is an investment/financial services firm), but I wanted to see if anybody else had a better idea.....

1. "Oh, Lord, we beseech Thee. Amen."

2. "Oh Dear God...thank you...you are such a good God...to us....and such a kind and gentle and...accommodating God. And we thank you, oh sweet lord of hosts for the smorgasbord you have so aptly laid at our table this day and each day by day, day by day by day. Oh dear lord, three things we pray...to love thee more dearly, to see thee more clearly, to follow thee more nearly, day by day by day...Amen."

3. "Thou say in thine heart, 'My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth.' But thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, which he may establish his covenant which he sware unto thy fathers, as it is this day. And it shall be, if thou do at all forget the LORD thy God, and walk after other gods, and serve them, and worship them, I testify against you this day that ye shall surely perish. Amen."

4. "Oh, Jesus, you're so fine. You're so fine, you blow my mind. Hey, Jesus."

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

Lawsuit!!



I envy you your coming early retirement.

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

Is this a joke that I am not getting? If it is, it's not funny. And if it's not, I doubt you are going to very many serious responses.

Also, why is there going to be a prayer at all? Is everyone who works there a religious person? Why not just make a toast being thankful for another good year of whatever and get on with the partying. Injecting "God" and "Amen"s into everything seems kind of disingenuous to me.

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

How about this one:

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Of course, I'm assuming you plan to kill everyone at the party immediately after you say this so if that isn't your plan then #3 will probably do.

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

Call the corners, invoke the God and Goddess, and end with "so mote it be."

Or, bring a chicken.

But I'm a confrontational smartass.

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

Do the Meet the Parents one. Everyone will immediately get it and LOL and those who don't will think you're a genius.

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Elohaynu Adonai Echad...

That'll teach 'em.

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

"Jesus said, 'If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'"

Number 4 is good, too.

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

5. "Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yay God!"

Re: Prayer at the Office Xmas Party
 

Don't forget: "Nose, toes, watch, wallet"