Re: favourite movie rants
 

This thread = [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].

Why shouldn't I work for the NSA? That's a tough one. But I'll take a shot. Say I'm workin' at the NSA and somebody puts a code on my desk, somethin' no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it and I'm real happy with myself cause I did my job well, but maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East and once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hiding, fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with get killed.

Now the politicains are sayin' "Oh send in the marines to secure the area, cause they don't give a [censored], won't be their kid over there gettin' shot just like it wasn't them when their number got called cause they were all pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southy over there takin' shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to work at, got exploited to the country he just got back from, and the guy that put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job cause he'll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks.

Meanwhile, he realises the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price, and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon. Their takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course maybe they even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martini's and [censored]' play slolum with the icebergs. It ain't to long til he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic... so now my buddy's out of work, he can't afford to drive, so he's walkin' to the [censored]' job interviews which sucks cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him cronic hemroids and meanwhile, he's starvin' cause everytime he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special their serving is North Atlantic squad with Quaker State....

So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure [censored] it, while Im at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe, and join the National Guard. I could be elected President.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
This thread = [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].

Why shouldn't I work for the NSA? That's a tough one. But I'll take a shot. Say I'm workin' at the NSA and somebody puts a code on my desk, somethin' no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it and I'm real happy with myself cause I did my job well, but maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East and once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hiding, fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with get killed.

Now the politicains are sayin' "Oh send in the marines to secure the area, cause they don't give a [censored], won't be their kid over there gettin' shot just like it wasn't them when their number got called cause they were all pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southy over there takin' shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to work at, got exploited to the country he just got back from, and the guy that put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job cause he'll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks.

Meanwhile, he realises the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price, and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon. Their takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course maybe they even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martini's and [censored]' play slolum with the icebergs. It ain't to long til he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic... so now my buddy's out of work, he can't afford to drive, so he's walkin' to the [censored]' job interviews which sucks cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him cronic hemroids and meanwhile, he's starvin' cause everytime he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special their serving is North Atlantic squad with Quaker State....

So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure [censored] it, while Im at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe, and join the National Guard. I could be elected President.

[/ QUOTE ]

you win this thread.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
This thread = [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].

Why shouldn't I work for the NSA? That's a tough one. But I'll take a shot. Say I'm workin' at the NSA and somebody puts a code on my desk, somethin' no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it and I'm real happy with myself cause I did my job well, but maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East and once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hiding, fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with get killed.

Now the politicains are sayin' "Oh send in the marines to secure the area, cause they don't give a [censored], won't be their kid over there gettin' shot just like it wasn't them when their number got called cause they were all pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southy over there takin' shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to work at, got exploited to the country he just got back from, and the guy that put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job cause he'll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks.

Meanwhile, he realises the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price, and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon. Their takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course maybe they even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martini's and [censored]' play slolum with the icebergs. It ain't to long til he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic... so now my buddy's out of work, he can't afford to drive, so he's walkin' to the [censored]' job interviews which sucks cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him cronic hemroids and meanwhile, he's starvin' cause everytime he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special their serving is North Atlantic squad with Quaker State....

So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure [censored] it, while Im at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe, and join the National Guard. I could be elected President.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was copying and pasting this thread as I noticed yours pop up. Damnit.

I had a buddy in college spend an entire semester memorizing this.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
"I hate being Scottish. We're the lowest of the [censored] low, the scum of the earth, the most wretched, servile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English, but I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. We can't even pick a decent culture to be colonized by. We are ruled by effete arseholes. It's a shite state of affairs and all the fresh air in the world will not make any [censored] difference."

ScottieK

[/ QUOTE ]

This was very funny. I remember when I saw that, I wanted to hear every Scotsman's opinion of that. I still do, actually, very much. Whether they've seen the movie or not.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
What about "Field of Dreams"?

[/ QUOTE ]

I love baseball and I like the book, but the movie dissapointed me. I could see the argument made for FoD, so maybe 3 good movies Costner has failed to destroy.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm really enjoying this thread but have to ask. Where do you guys find the verbatim dialogues?

[/ QUOTE ]

IMDB.com-->main page of desired movie--->scroll down left hand side-->memorable quotes--->world peace.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm really enjoying this thread but have to ask. Where do you guys find the verbatim dialogues?

[/ QUOTE ]

Wondering too. They got 'em and fast.

Great reads in this thread by the way.

Sam Jackson's monologue at the end of Pulp Fiction is conspicuously missing, though, as is Dennis Hopper's wops came from [censored] speech in True Romance.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

Ricky Slade: We need guns.

Bobby: We don't need guns.

Ricky Slade: I'm telling you man, i'm pretty sure we need guns.

Bobby: I listened to them and they specifically said we don't need guns.

Ricky Slade: That's all the more reason why you do need a gun.

Bobby: You couldn't even get a gun.
Ricky Slade: You wanna bet, you wanna bet me if i could get a gun?

Bobby: You couldn't get a handjob from the bridge and tunnel posse.

Ricky Slade: That's because that [censored]' girl had issues with the bathtub and the other thing. Now float me a hundred bucks.

Bobby: For what?

Ricky Slade: You wanna see how fast I can get a gun?

Bobby: What happened to your money?

Ricky Slade: I have it, i have some stuff left.

Bobby: How much?

Ricky Slade: I've got like 80.

Bobby: $80!

Ricky Slade: 80 plus five, I've got five in the room, $85.

Bobby: $85, what happened to the 1500?

Ricky Slade: Well you could have picked up a [censored]' tab once in a while!

Bobby: I picked up half the [censored]' tab!

Another classic from that movie...


Ricky Slade: I don't know why we don't get a drink, sittin' inside this place.

Bobby: Chloe wanted to come here.

Ricky Slade: She doesn't know where the hell she is, Bob. She'd have more fun if we were at Bordner's. She could play the trivia game that she likes or the little racing game thing she does .

Bobby: She's a little girl, little girls don't like going to bars.

Ricky Slade: We had fun. We went to bars when we were kids. Met all the different people. Right? When we met Slimmy.

Chloe: Isn't it fun?

Ricky Slade: What's that, sweetie?

Chloe: Isn't it fun?

Ricky Slade: What's that?

Chloe: Isn't it fun?

Ricky Slade: What fun?

Chloe: Isn't it fun to paint?

Ricky Slade: To paint? Yeah, I love it! Really calms me down. Frogs aren't purple by the way. Have you ever seen a purple frog?

Chloe: Yes.

Ricky Slade: Yeah. Okay, when? When you were asleep?

Female Salesperson: Excuse me sir, there's no smoking in here.

Ricky Slade: Why, you serving food?

Salesperson: No, it's store policy. And you can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic.

Ricky Slade: You believe this [censored]. I can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic. Well, why don't you bring me a ashtray then. Can I color me that, a ceramic ashtray?

[after a pottery clerk throws an ashtray on his table]

Ricky Slade: There's a nice way to do that!

Re: favourite movie rants
 

NH Good Will Hunting

For Goodfellas, I always liked the end:

The hardest thing was to leave the life. I love the life. We were treated like movie stars with muscle. We had it all. Our wives, mothers, kids, everybody rode along. I had bags filled with jewelry stashed in the kitchen. I had a bowl of coke next to the bed.

Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. Keys to a dozen hideouts all over the city. I'd bet a grand over a weekend...then blow the winnings in a week or go to sharks to pay the bookies. Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke I would go rob some more.

We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over. That's the hardest part.

Today everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food. After I got here I ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce......and I got egg noodles with ketchup.

I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.

ScottieK

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon.

[/ QUOTE ]

$2.50 a gallon. LOL. Back in '97, I'm sure this was preposterous!

EDIT: The word is "ancillary", no? What is "antilary"?

Re: favourite movie rants
 

Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?

Evelyn Gardner: Well, I'm a Peach.

Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.
[Evelyn starts to cry]

Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying, there's no crying in baseball. Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. NO. And do you know why?

Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.

Jimmy Dugan: Because there's no crying in baseball. There's no CRYING IN BASEBALL. NO CRYING!

Re: favourite movie rants
 

I think you're all [censored] in the head! We're 10 hours from the [censored]' fun park and you want to bail out! Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much [censored]' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling "Zippity Do-da" out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrammage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy [censored]!

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon.

[/ QUOTE ]

$2.50 a gallon. LOL. Back in '97, I'm sure this was preposterous!

EDIT: The word is "ancillary", no? What is "antilary"?

[/ QUOTE ]
Since we're picking nits, I thought it was North Atlantic "scrod," not "squad."

Sweet rant, though.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

die: nice thread.

loyalguard: How the F did you leave off the first sentence (and perhaps the best line!) of that rant?!?! You can't handle the truth!

Toro: Google.

Villainaire: That was neither a rant nor even a good monologue. From that movie, you should have chosen something like this:

RUIZ
'Dis?' 'Dis?' You're not in a
position to 'dis', or 'give props',
or whatever your Real World sense of
[censored] decorum tells you to do.
You're nothing. You're wallpaper.
You're not here to make [censored]
friends. Asking a [censored] where
he lives. And who the [censored] told you
'Red Dragon'?.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?

Evelyn Gardner: Well, I'm a Peach.

Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.
[Evelyn starts to cry]

Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying, there's no crying in baseball. Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. NO. And do you know why?

Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.

Jimmy Dugan: Because there's no crying in baseball. There's no CRYING IN BASEBALL. NO CRYING!

[/ QUOTE ]

YES!!!!! I almost forgot about this one!

Re: favourite movie rants
 

El D,

Nicely done. If he's gonna go the gun route, here's the gun rant:

Ricky Slade: Here's scenario B for you Bob, see how you feel about this one. Now I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I think I'm starting to get under Ruiz's skin as well, OK? It all started with the whole Red Dragon, or the Welsh guy, whatever, they can play it down all they want but you know 200 grand's a lot of [censored] money! It's a [censored] lot of money! OK? 200 grand is definitely a lot of [censored] money! And now I've got Ruiz calling me [censored] Fruit-Pie the [censored] magician! Tellin' me that I can't [censored] call my main man Max, who [censored] sent me out on the [censored] operation? And what about the Welsh guy? He's [censored] scat all over, they [censored] disappear and talk! And you haven't noticed this either but when he's not [censored] looking at me or you're [censored] doing whatever, I've got [censored] Jimmy in the mirror with his [censored] too. It's [censored] coming at me from here, I don't know where it is! It might be coming this way, it might be coming that way, but the [censored] [censored]'s coming and I'm not gonna be late for the [censored] dance man, I'm not gonna be [censored] late for the dance on this one.
Bobby: You're not getting a gun.

Going home to watch Made,
CE

Re: favourite movie rants
 

CE,

Actually, the best gun rant would be this mini-rant:


HORRACE
I know what 'strapped' means,
[censored]. What the [censored] you
think this [censored] is? '21 Jump Street?'

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
CE,

Actually, the best gun rant would be this mini-rant:


HORRACE
I know what 'strapped' means,
[censored]. What the [censored] you
think this [censored] is? '21 Jump Street?'

[/ QUOTE ]
What, you gonna step to him Snoop Dogg?

Whoops, wrong movie. Got a little carried away.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

this is too fun. Raging Bull:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jake La Motta: Did you [censored] my wife?
Joey LaMotta: Did you [censored] your mother?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jake La Motta: Did you [censored] my wife?
Joey LaMotta: What?
Jake La Motta: Did you [censored] my wife?
Joey LaMotta: [pauses] How do you ask me that? I'm your brother and you ask me that? Where do you get you're balls big enough to ask me that?
Jake La Motta: I'm gonna ask you again, did you or didn't you? Just answer the question.
Joey LaMotta: I'm not gonna answer that. It's stupid. It's a sick question and you're a sick [censored] and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. I'm leaving, If Nora calls tell her I went home. You know what you should do? Do a little more [censored] and a little less eating, so you don't have to blame it all on me and everybody else, you understand me? You're cracking up! Ya' [censored] screw ball ya'!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Re: favourite movie rants
 

Tried to edit it from what I remember...

"Goddammit you [censored] guys. You passed your sevens over a month ago...Seth is the only one who has opened the necessary forty accounts for their team leader. When I was a junior broker, I did it in twenty six days. You're not sending out press packets anymore. None of this Debbie the Time Life operator [censored]. It's time to go to work. Get on the phones and be aggressive. Learn how to push. Move around! Motion creates emotion.

I remember this guy once called me to sell me some stock. So I let him. I got every [censored] rebuttal out of this guy. Kept him on the phone for an hour and a half. Toward the end I started asking him buying questions. Like, what's the firm minimum? That's a buying question. I ask a question like that, BOOM right there he should take me down. It's not like I asked him what his 800 number was. That's a [censored] off question. I was giving him a run and he blew it. To a question like, What's the firm minimum the answer is zero! You don't like the idea, don't pick up a single share. This putz is telling me...(mocking)...ummm, a hundred shares? Wrong answer! No!You have to learn how to close. Keep asking questions. Ask rhetorical questions, doesn't matter...just to get a yes out of them. If you were drowning and I threw you a life jacket would you grab it? Yes? Good. Pick up two hundred shares, I won't let you down. Ask a guy if he'll be happy to see thirty to forty percent return. What's he gonna say? No? [censored] you, I don't want to see those returns?

*one guy laughs*

Stop laughing, it's not funny. If you can't close then start thinking about another career. I'm serious. I am dead [censored] serious about that. Have your rebuttals ready. Anybody says call me tomorrow, [censored]! Anybody says they got money problems about two hundred shares is lying to you. You know what I say to that? I say hey, tell me you don't like my idea, tell me you don't like my firm, tell me you don't like my [censored] necktie, but don't tell me you can't pull twenty five hundred together. And remember...there is no such thing as a "no sale" call. A sale is made on every call you make. You either sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason he can't. Either way a sale is made. The question is, who's gonna close, you or him? Now be relentless! That's it, I'm done."

ScottieK

Re: favourite movie rants
 

(my wife made me post this one...)

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

at a spelling bee]
Teacher: The word is "forensics".
Kid: Ah, [censored] that. Why should we [censored] have to spell forensics?
[cheers from kids in audience]
Kid: S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. Forensics.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

modaddy and others,

From a movie about this thread:

WHAT THE [censored] IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? HOW THE [censored] DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A [censored] RANT IS? A RANT IS NOT RANDOM ENTERTAINING DIALOGUE FROM A MOVIE. A RANT IS NOT ANY MONOLOGUE THAT YOU HAPPEN TO LIKE. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT RANT MEANS HOW ABOUT MAYBE LOOKING IT UP FIRST INSTEAD OF POSTING SOME RANDOM [censored] IN THIS THREAD?

Re: favourite movie rants
 

Not a rant, but a great speech by Pacino:

Mayor John Pappas: I was warned not to come here. I was warned. They warned me, "Don't stand behind that coffin." But why should I heed such a warning, when a heartbeat is silent and a child lies dead? "Don't stand behind" this coffin. That boy was as pure and as innocent as the driven snow. But I must stand here, because I have not given you what you should have. Until we can walk abroad and recreate ourselves; until we can stroll along the streets like boulevards; congregate in parks free from fear, our families mingling, our children laughing, our hearts joined - until that day we have no city. You can label me a failure until that day. The first and perhaps only great mayor was Greek. He was Pericles of Athens, and he lived some 2500 years ago, and he said, "All things good on this Earth flow into the City, because of the City's greatness." Well, we were great once. Can we not be great again? Now, I put that question to James Bone, and there's only silence. Yet could not something pass from this sweet youth to me? Could he not empower me to find in myself the strength to have the knowledge to summon up the courage to accomplish this seemingly insurmountable task of making a city livable? Just livable. There was a palace that was a city. It was a PALACE! It was a PALACE and it CAN BE A PALACE AGAIN! A PALACE, in which there is no king or queen, or dukes or earls or princes, but subjects all: subjects beholden to each other, to make a better place to live. Is that too much to ask?
Audience: No!
Mayor John Pappas: Are we asking too much for this?
Audience: No!
Mayor John Pappas: Is it beyond our reach?
Some Audience Members: No!
Mayor John Pappas: Because if it is, then we are nothing but sheep being herded to the final SLAUGHTERHOUSE! I will not go down, THAT WAY!
[The audience begins shouting approval]
Mayor John Pappas: I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what's within me is also WITHIN YOU.
Audience Member: Amen!
Mayor John Pappas: That's why I ask you now to join me. Join me, RISE UP with me, RISE UP on the wings of this slain angel.
[Audience members begin shouting "Yes" at every pause]
Mayor John Pappas: We'll rebuild on the soul of this little warrior. We will pick up his standard and RAISE it high! Carry it forward until THIS CITY - YOUR CITY - OUR CITY - HIS CITY - IS A PALACE OF GOD! IS A PALACE OF GOD! I am with you, little James. I am you.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

I want to tell you a story. I'm going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. Go ahead. Close your eyes, please. This is a story about a little girl walking home from the grocery store one sunny afternoon. I want you to picture this little girl. Suddenly a truck races up. Two men jump out and grab her. They drag her into a nearby field and they tie her up and they rip her clothes from her body. Now they climb on. First one, then the other, raping her, shattering everything innocent and pure with a vicious thrust in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. And when they're done, after they've killed her tiny womb, murdered any chance for her to have children, to have life beyond her own, they decide to use her for target practice. They start throwing full beer cans at her. They throw them so hard that it tears the flesh all the way to her bones. Then they urinate on her. Now comes the hanging. They have a rope. They tie a noose. Imagine the noose going tight around her neck and with a sudden blinding jerk she's pulled into the air and her feet and legs go kicking. They don't find the ground. The hanging branch isn't strong enough. It snaps and she falls back to the earth. So they pick her up, throw her in the back of the truck and drive out to Foggy Creek Bridge. Pitch her over the edge. And she drops some thirty feet down to the creek bottom below. Can you see her? Her raped, beaten, broken body soaked in their urine, soaked in their semen, soaked in her blood, left to die. Can you see her? I want you to picture that little girl. Now imagine she's white.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

modaddy,

Maybe the third time will be a charm.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

El Diablo,

"Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood"

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
modaddy,

Maybe the third time will be a charm.

[/ QUOTE ]

maybe he will go off a rant about you. would that suffice? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
El Diablo,

"Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood"

[/ QUOTE ]

swing and a miss.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

modaddy,

Guess the third time didn't work out either.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

semi-rantish:

Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that [censored] dog.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room - and someone who'll listen to your boring stories! Didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn't that give you some sort of clue, like maybe this guy's not enjoying it?

You know, not everything is an anecdote, you have to discriminate! You choose things are funny or mildly amusing! You're a miracle! Your stories have none of that! They're not even amusing accidentally! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecdotes for ya! And, oh, here's a gun so you can blow your brains out, you'll thank me for it!"

I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days, I could sit there, and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face! And they'd say, "How can you stand it?" And I'd say, "Because I've been with Del Griffith, I can take anything!" Y'know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean, shower curtain ring guy...whoa!" It's like going on a date with a Chatty-Kathy doll. I expect you to have a string on your chest that you pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back, you would! Dyah dyah dyah dyah!

And, you know, when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

Re: favourite movie rants
 

Ricky: You stupid [censored] [censored]. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, [censored]. You just cost me $6,000. $6,000, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it, [censored]? You're [censored] [censored]. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid [censored] [censored], you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men?
Detective (Jude Ciccolella): Could I, uh---
Ricky: Oh, I'm gonna have your job, [censored]. I'm going downtown. I'm gonna talk to Mitch and Murray. I'm going to Lemkin! I don't care whose nephew you are, who you know, whose dick you're sucking on, you're going out. I swear to you, you're going--
Detective: Hey, fella, let's get this done.
Ricky: Anyone in this office lives on his wits. I'm gonna be with you in a second. What you're hired for is to help us. Does thot seem clear to you? To help us! Not to [censored] us up! To help men who are going out there to try to earn a living, you fairy. You company man. I'll tell you something else, I hope you ripped the joint off. I can tell our friend here something might help him to catch you. You wanna learn the first rule you'd know if you ever spent a day in your life? You never open your mouth till you know what the shot is. You [censored] child.

link to the audio

Re: favourite movie rants
 

I'm not sure these qualify as rants, but all the gun talk made me think of them:

Turkish: [censored] me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey [censored] balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... [censored] off.


The bit about feeding dead bodies to pigs was good too, but again, not sure it qualifies.

Re: favourite movie rants
 

Jerry Maguire

Don't worry... don't worry. I'm not gonna do... what you all think i'm gonna do, which is just flip out!! But let me just say, as I ease out of the office, that i helped build... I'm sorry, but it is a fact... that there is such a thing... as manners. A way of treating people. These fish have manners. These fish have manners. In fact, they're coming with me. I'm starting a new company, and the fish are coming with me. You can call me sentimental, but the fish are coming with me.
(he takes a long beat scooping two goldfish into a plastic baggie)
Now. If you come with me, this will be the moment of something new, and fun, and inspiring in this GOD FORSAKEN business. And we will do it together. So... who's coming with me? who's coming with me and (he points at the baggie, thinks) flipper, here? Huh? (he makes little finger gestures) Who's coming with me? WHO'S COMING WITH ME?

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
My favorite 2

Pulp Fiction
"Jules: Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' [censored], [censored]! Every time my fingers touch brain I'm SUPERFLY T.N.T, I'm the GUNS OF THE NAVARONE. In fact, what the [censored] am I doin' in the back? You're the [censored] should be on brain detail. We're [censored]' switchin' right now. I'm washin' the windows and you're pickin' up this nigga's skull"

SLC Punk
"Stevo: The Fight: What does it mean and where does it come from? An Essay: Homosapien. A man. He is alone in the universe. A punker. Still a man. He is alone in the universe, but he connects. How? They hit each other. No clearer way to evaluate whether or not you're alive. Now. Complications. A reason to fight. Somebody different. Difference creates dispute. Dispute is a reason to fight. Now, to fight is a reason to feel pain. Life is pain. So to fight with reason is to be alive with reason. Final analysis: To fight, a reason to live. Problems and Contradictions: I am an anarchist. I believe that there should be no rules, only chaos. Fighting appears to be chaos. And when we slam in the pit a show it is. But when we fight for a reason, like rednecks, there's a system, we fight for what we stand for, chaos. Fighting is a structure, fighting is to establish power, power is government and government is not anarchy. Government is war and war is fighting. The circle goes like this: our redneck skirmishes are cheap perversions of conventional warfare. War implies extreme government because wars are fought to enforce rules or ideals, even freedom. But other people ideals forced on someone else, even if it is something like freedom, is still a rule; not anarchy. This contradiction was becoming clear to me in the fall of '85. Even as early as my first party, "Why did I love to fight?" I framed it, but still, I don't understand it. It goes against my beliefs as a true anarchist. But there it was. Competition, fighting, capitalism, government, THE SYSTEM. That's what we did. It's what we always did. Rednecks kicked the [censored] out of punks, punks kicked the [censored] out of mods, mods kicked the [censored] out of skinheads, skinheads took out the heavy metal guys, and the heavy metal guys beat the living [censored] out of new wavers and the new wavers did nothing. What was the point? Final summation? None. "

[/ QUOTE ]

SLC was a really good movie imho

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[ QUOTE ]
Today... is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few marines! God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?


[/ QUOTE ]

greatest rant ever

Re: favourite movie rants
 

[Gal is sunbathing by poolside]
Oh, yeah. Bloody hell. I'm sweating in here. Roasting. Boiling. Baking. Sweltering. It's like a sauna. Furnace. You can fry an egg on my stomach. Ohh, who wouldn't lap this up? It's ridiculous. Tremendous. Fantastic. Fan-dabby-dozy-tastic. People say, "Don't you miss it, Gal?" I say, "What, England? Nah. [censored] place. It's a dump. Don't make me laugh. Grey, grimy, sooty. What a [censored] hole. What a toilet. Every [censored] with a long face shuffling about, moaning, all worried. No thanks, not for me." They say, "What's it like, then, Spain?" And I'll say, "It's hot. Hot. Oh, it's [censored] hot. Too hot? Not for me, I love it."

Juxtaposed with:

Shut up, [censored]. You louse. You got some [censored]' neck ain't you. Retired? [censored] off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a [censored] suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like [censored] Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?
[He gut-punches Gal]
Don: What you think this is the wheel of fortune? You think you can make your dough and [censored] off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, [censored] off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're [censored] trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?

Re: favourite movie rants
 

One more for the rodeo:

Ray: She took his dinner in to him once. Me mum, in the pub, and plonked it in front of him on a tray. Knife and fork, salt and pepper. He said, "What's that?" She said, "It's your dinner. I thought you might be hungry. You ain't eaten for three [censored] days. You live in here, you might as well [censored] eat in here." It's funny. He didn't like that, did he? Mugged him up in front of his mates. Thought more of them [censored] than he did us. Lovely. Yeah. She got a clump over that. Well, she would, wouldn't she? He was always pissed in there, weren't he? You know? We go in the pub to get our living, you know? That's where we do our business. He'd be there spunking out while we're sitting at home without a dinar, you know, thank you. And he'd promise things. You know? Promise to take us places, you know? Never did. Never took us anywhere. And when he did bother to come home he'd sit in that [censored] chair, doss off with his tray in his lap. And I'd just stand there looking at him. I'd look in his face, and my mother'd go upstairs, and I'd say, "Say, Mum, ain't Daddy coming to bed?" And she'd say, "No. No, he's all right, son. He'll come up when he wakes up." He's gotta wake up to go to bed! Now, I'd stand there looking at this [censored] old man, you know, my dad, you know, in that chair, that horrible [censored] chair with the shiny, worn-out arms. I should've burnt the [censored] thing. By the end he was hemorrhaging from both ends, you know? I used to hear him in the morning hanging on to the kharzi. It was lovely. Never stopped him going to the pub, though. No, he was well enough to do that. Now, one day, right, he's staggering across the pub pissed from the night before. He's gone over, crunch, right on his mooey, like a [censored] ironing board. His hooter's around here, his railings all over the [censored] place. Me and me mum had to go the hospital to see him. We walked in. He's laying in bed. He's got tubes up his arms, [censored] up his nose, down the back of his Gregory. He didn't look well. [censored] vodka was keeping him alive. Well, I ain't that interested, so I'm having a little mooch about, you know. I looked above his bed, and there's this sign, right, with some weird writing on it. I couldn't read too well at the time. I said to my mum, "Mum, what's that say? You know, that sign above Daddy's head." All right? She said, "Nil by mouth." "What's that, a football score?" One-nil, three-nil, two-nil, a geezer called [censored] Nil. Yeah. I said, "Well, what's it mean?" She said, "It means..."
Mark: It means nothing to eat.
Ray: Yeah, nothing down the...
[points into his mouth]
Mark: Nothing down the... Yeah.
Ray: Yeah, all right. I remembered that day, because I could've put that on his [censored] tombstone, you know? Because I don't remember one kiss, you know, one cuddle. Nothing. I mean, plenty went down, not a lot came out, you know, nothing that was any [censored] good. And I'd look at this man that I call Dad, you know? My father, I knew him as Dad. He was my [censored] dad but he weren't like other kids' dads, you know? It was as if the word itself were enough, and it ain't.
Mark: That ain't when he died though, is it?
Ray: No. He lived another ten years, slippery old [censored]. He died one afternoon in that [censored] armchair. About right. I went around to see him, you know, when he was plotted up at me mother's.
Mark: Hatcham Road?
Ray: Yeah, Hatcham Road. He was upstairs in that front bedroom. Laid out.
Mark: Free.
Ray: Yeah. Yeah. I've gone up there, gone in. I'm sitting on the bed looking at him. He's laying there like... Mullered. And it was like he'd shrunk, you know? He was a big man.
Mark: He was a lump.
Ray: Yeah. You should know. You got enough clumps off the [censored]. (sighs) And I just touched him, you know? He was [censored] freezing cold. It frightened the life out of me. I was looking at him, you know? For the first time in my life, I talked to him. I said, "Why didn't you ever love me?"

Re: favourite movie rants
 

a couple more


[ QUOTE ]
"Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just got finished readin' some Marxian historian -- Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna be convinced of that 'til next month when you get to James Lemon, and then you're gonna be talkin' about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year -- you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin' about, you know, the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization... Wood drastically -- Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth.' You got that from Vickers, 'Work in Essex County,' page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you...is that your thing? You come into a bar. You read some obscure passage and then pretend...you pawn it off as your own idea just to impress some girls and embarrass my friend? See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One: don't do that. And two: You dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a f----n' education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.

[/ QUOTE ]



#2:

[ QUOTE ]

"How To Fake Like You Are Nice and Caring."
This is...obviously...quite an important
section...I mean, let's face it...face the
facts...Men Are [censored], right? I mean,
that is what they all say. We've all done
bad things...bad things that no woman
has ever done...that's what they say.
We As Men are taught to apologize: "I've done wrong."
"I'm sorry." "My needs as a man made me..."
Something, something...[censored]....well what
I would like to say....
If you feel, made to feel like you need
them, like -- like you can't live if
you're without them or you need, what?
They're pussy? They're love? [censored] that.
Self Sufficient, gents. That's the truth.
What you are -- we are -- you need them
for what? To [censored] make you a piece of
snot rag? A puppett? huh? Hear them
bitch and moan? bitch and moan --
and we're taught one thing -- go the other
way -- there is No Excuse I will give you,
I'm not gonna apologize -- I'm not gonna
apologize for my NEED my DESIRE...my, the
things that I need as a man to feel comfortable...
You understand? You understand? You need
to say something, "my mommy hit me or
daddy hit me or didn't let me play soccer,
so now I make mistakes, cause a that -- something,
so now I piss and [censored] on it and do this."
[censored]. I'm sorry. ok. yeah. no. [censored].
go. [censored]. alright. go make a new mistake.
maybe not, I dunno...[censored]....

[/ QUOTE ]