Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

There is this individual who lives on my floor. His name is Mike. He is probably 5'7'', 300-320 lbs. This kid carries one hell of a foul odour. I mean, we can literally smell when his door is open from down the hall.

Earlier in the year, someone left a massive turd in our toilets. I mean, this thing was far and away the largest turd I have ever seen. Something that we noted was that no toilet paper was in the toilet. Originally, we assumed that someone thought "this thing is so huge I have to show it to the world", and probably wiped and flushed in another stall. It was never confirmed explicitly, but Mike is probably the only person on our floor who could squeeze that thing out without a subsequent hospital trip.

However, a friend of mine was hugging some bowl after a long night of drinking, and noticed that this Mike character walked in, dropped, and left immediately - without wiping.

The same observation was made again recently.

Is it possible that someone could be so obese that he not be able to wipe? If so, do they make ass wipers for these people? I mean, this kid is fat, but its not like circus fat.

He isnt a bad guy, and I'd like to help him out, but, how the hell do you suggest he use / give a guy an ass wiping device?

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

Don't you think he would have looked into this already, if he wanted to?

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

Wife goes up to her husband of 20 years....and she says "I want breast implants"

He goes "You don't need implants...here's what you do - every morning, take a wad of toilet paper and rub it between your two breasts..

She goes "I don't get it - how is that gonna make my breasts bigger"

He goes "I don't know how it works, but it sure made your ass bigger."

=================================

Moral of the story - no one's ass is so big they can't wipe.... (I hope)

RB

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

we had one of these in my dorm freshman year. kinda sad. I had no idea what to do. Does he have a roommate or close friend, who can just be frank with him?

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

If you are concerned about him then that is not a good idea. Probably just really embarrass him and make him feel horrible.

If you are concerned about the smell and grossness of it all, then keep insulting him until he drops out/hangs himself.

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I mean, this kid is fat, but its not like circus fat.

[/ QUOTE ]


orca fat?

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I mean, this kid is fat, but its not like circus fat.

[/ QUOTE ]


orca fat?

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

Step 1: Buy one of these signs. Also, get some masking tape and a Sharpie marker.

Step 2:
http://img391.imageshack.us/img391/1061/sign5th.jpg

Step 3: Post in bathroom.

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

[ QUOTE ]

Is it possible that someone could be so obese that he not be able to wipe?

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course it's possible, but this guy doesn't sound that big.

Re: Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)
 

It's almost Christmas, surely you can give the gift that keeps on giving for each and every flush. Give the Solution ComfortSeat(R)