Earrings on small children
 

My wife just got our almost-two-year-old daughter's ears pierced today. In the past, I had made known my dislike for ear piercing on little kids, especially < 7-8 years old. And she mostly agreed with me. Then out of nowhere she calls me today and says "You'll probably be mad but..." Well yeah, I'm mad. Mostly because she went behind my back which is very out of character for her. Aside from that part of it, though, I still don't like it. I can't really articulate exactly why. Am I being dumb?

(I'm probably risking being banned with this topic. All I ask of [censored] is to consider that I very rarely start a thread, so please go easy on me.)

Re: Earrings on small children
 

yes you have every right to be mad. Women who do this are basically turning their daughters into little dress up dolls. It's selfish and tacky.

point #2. Ok all I ask is that when you start a thread you put some real thought into starting a discussion, this clearly fits that criteria. You had an experience, shared it, provided your opinions and then requested other opinions. Thats's all it takes people, not every topic you start will be a hit, what counts is effort. For example of what doesn't fly see boxtree's uncle thread and then see his loc.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

Are you sure your daughter didn't want them? When my sister was 2 she would whine all the time about not having "pretty ears like mommy"

Also, I hope she had either a pediatrician or a major jewelry store do it. Those little kiosks in malls shouldn't be trusted with a small child

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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yes you have every right to be mad. Women who do this are basically turning their daughters into little dress up dolls. It's selfish and tacky.

point #2. Ok all I ask is that when you start a thread you put some real thought into starting a discussion, this clearly fits that criteria. You had an experience, shared it, provided your opinions and then requested other opinions. Thats's all it takes people, not every topic you start will be a hit, what counts is effort. For example of what doesn't fly see boxtree's uncle thread and then see his loc.

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*sniff* thanks man <wipes tears>

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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When my sister was 2 she would whine all the time about not having "pretty ears like mommy"


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i don't see the correllation between a 2 year old wanting her ears pierced and a 2 year old having her ears pierced.

there is a middle man in there somewhere, the two year old doesn't know how to operate the gun.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

I agree with the original poster.

Not to hijack, but why would a pediatrician pierce ears? Its not rocket science, and that seems like wasting your/your insurers money.

Swab. Sharp object. Hypoallergenic metal.



OP--
Especially since you'd talked about it, I would be upset. In general it doesn't bother me a great deal, but like circumcision, its an unfair choice to make for an infant. Unlike circumcision, it doesn't really have any health/staying power redeeming qualities.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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Are you sure your daughter didn't want them? When my sister was 2 she would whine all the time about not having "pretty ears like mommy"

Also, I hope she had either a pediatrician or a major jewelry store do it. Those little kiosks in malls shouldn't be trusted with a small child

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My wife doesn't wear them and I've never heard my daughter so much as acknowledge the existence of earrings.
I don't know where the procedure was performed.
Oh, and the official reason was "I'm tired of people thinking she's a boy."
I think that's dumber than if she just said she wanted to do it.

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When my sister was 2 she would whine all the time about not having "pretty ears like mommy"


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i don't see the correllation between a 2 year old wanting her ears pierced and a 2 year old having her ears pierced.

there is a middle man in there somewhere, the two year old doesn't know how to operate the gun.

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I should have elaborated. I don't think its wrong for a 2 year old to have pierced ears, but you do, and she's your daughter, so you have every right to be upset with your wife.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

I should clarify my OP. The part about my wife going behind my back - I guess I was just venting. I know it was a "dick move on her part."

The main intention of my post was to find out if I was in the minority in thinking the earrings in general on a 22 month-old are weird/inappropriate.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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I don't think its wrong for a 2 year old to have pierced ears

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ahh i see, thank you.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

My (soon to be ex-)wife is from Mexico. There it is customary for the girls to have their ears pierced before they leave the hospital.

My daughter had hers pierced before she was one month old. I didn't think I would like it, but I did and never had any of those awkward, "Your son is so cute," problems.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

This is done purely for the benefit of the parent, not the kid. Even if the kid wants it, it's because the parent put the idea in them or allowed it to flourish.

I'd feel bad too. For the kid, being turned into your wife's barbie doll, first. And for you, because your wife went behind your back. There's nothing healthy or respectful about that in a relationship, especially as pertains to the most important thing between you, which is not even your love, but your child. That above all things should be off limits for screwy stuff, and should be aground for agreed upon things, not trickery.

You're owed an apology, and your kid is owed the right to grow up without having to be a fashion model or a conformist.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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This is done purely for the benefit of the parent, not the kid. Even if the kid wants it, it's because the parent put the idea in them or allowed it to flourish.

I'd feel bad too. For the kid, being turned into your wife's barbie doll, first. And for you, because your wife went behind your back. There's nothing healthy or respectful about that in a relationship, especially as pertains to the most important thing between you, which is not even your love, but your child. That above all things should be off limits for screwy stuff, and should be aground for agreed upon things, not trickery.

You're owed an apology, and your kid is owed the right to grow up without having to be a fashion model or a conformist.

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Ha! My rage is justified!
I can now go to bed, remain angry, and feel not a shred of guilt. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

(In the interest of fairness - my wife is GREAT. This was so atypical of her. Maybe she was drunk.)

Re: Earrings on small children
 

No problem with earrings. Big problem with the wife doing it behind your back.

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I hate crap like this. My baby doesn't need decorations.
My daughter has older sisters so I knew I wouldn't be able to put the kibosh on this forever. I finally relented earlier this year. I was okay with it by then. My daughter is soon to be 7. I embrace the fact that being a girl often means the wearing of rings, bracelets and other trinkets. If she wants anymore than one though she'll have to wait til she can get them herself.
Like the other poster said, I think the biggest problem is the wife.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

I don't have a problem with it. Granted, the fact that your wife did it behind your back if awful, but it's a completely separate issue from the pierced ears themselves.

As a quick aside, for all the people who are saying "It is so terrible that your wife is treating your daughter like a dress up doll," do you have a problem with parents who dress up their kids for church on sunday? Or make them wear nice clothes to school? I think that it is perfectly normal for a parent to inflect their sense of style on their child as it is just one more aspect of the parent passing what they think is right or wrong on to their child. I don't see the difference between a parent wanting the child to have earrings, or wear a shirt and tie to church.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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(I'm probably risking being banned with this topic. All I ask of [censored] is to consider that I very rarely start a thread, so please go easy on me.)

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This is why your wife doesn't respect you.

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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No problem with earrings. Big problem with the wife doing it behind your back.

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Agree. In my culture, girls have their ears pierced when they are infants.

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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This is the entire point. I don't have a problem with it if that is what the daughter wants. What I have a problem is doing it at an age where no such desire could exist.

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I don't have a problem with it. Granted, the fact that your wife did it behind your back if awful, but it's a completely separate issue from the pierced ears themselves.

As a quick aside, for all the people who are saying "It is so terrible that your wife is treating your daughter like a dress up doll," do you have a problem with parents who dress up their kids for church on sunday? Or make them wear nice clothes to school? I think that it is perfectly normal for a parent to inflect their sense of style on their child as it is just one more aspect of the parent passing what they think is right or wrong on to their child. I don't see the difference between a parent wanting the child to have earrings, or wear a shirt and tie to church.

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Why am I not surprised that you are not able to discern the difference between having ears pierced and dressing up in church appropriate clothes?

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Why am I not surprised that you are not able to discern the difference between having ears pierced and dressing up in church appropriate clothes?

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Why am I not surprised that you didn't read my reasoning for it?

They're just different aspects of what a parent thinks is appropriate for their child to wear. Some parents think it's appropriate for a young girl to have earrings, some don't. Some think that a young child should dress up for school, some don't. I don't see how it's that hard to understand.

It's not like they're tattooing their children. A pierced ear can easily close up if the child decides that they don't want it when they're old enough to make that decision. Until then, it's up to the parents.

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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I've come to the conclusion with this post (and many others prior) that you are just a troll who says things against the norm to piss people off

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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I don't have a problem with it. Granted, the fact that your wife did it behind your back if awful, but it's a completely separate issue from the pierced ears themselves.

As a quick aside, for all the people who are saying "It is so terrible that your wife is treating your daughter like a dress up doll," do you have a problem with parents who dress up their kids for church on sunday? Or make them wear nice clothes to school? I think that it is perfectly normal for a parent to inflect their sense of style on their child as it is just one more aspect of the parent passing what they think is right or wrong on to their child. I don't see the difference between a parent wanting the child to have earrings, or wear a shirt and tie to church.

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Why am I not surprised that you are not able to discern the difference between having ears pierced and dressing up in church appropriate clothes?

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because theyre both examples of parents defining what their kid should be wearing

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Why am I not surprised that you are not able to discern the difference between having ears pierced and dressing up in church appropriate clothes?

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Why am I not surprised that you didn't read my reasoning for it?

They're just different aspects of what a parent thinks is appropriate for their child to wear. Some parents think it's appropriate for a young girl to have earrings, some don't. Some think that a young child should dress up for school, some don't. I don't see how it's that hard to understand.

It's not like they're tattooing their children. A pierced ear can easily close up if the child decides that they don't want it when they're old enough to make that decision. Until then, it's up to the parents.

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You don't think the act of piercing a child's ear lobe with needle is different than wearing clothes? Seriously?

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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I've come to the conclusion with this post (and many others prior) that you are just a troll who says things against the norm to piss people off

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how does that post suggest what youre saying?

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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You don't think the act of piercing a child's ear lobe with needle is different than wearing clothes? Seriously?

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Seriously, I don't. It's not going to scar the child for life and it's a common practice. If the parent decides that it is appropriate for a young girl to have her ear pierced, that's acceptable and completely up to the parent. I don't get why that's so hard to understand.

Granted, I understand why you're being contary for the sake of being contrary, but do you seriously expect me to believe that you're so dense you can't understand my position?

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You don't think the act of piercing a child's ear lobe with needle is different than wearing clothes? Seriously?

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Seriously, I don't. It's not going to scar the child for life and it's a common practice. If the parent decides that it is appropriate for a young girl to have her ear pierced, that's acceptable and completely up to the parent. I don't get why that's so hard to understand.

Granted, I understand why you're being contary for the sake of being contrary, but do you seriously expect me to believe that you're so dense you can't understand my position?

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I'm not being contrary I think you are wrong or rather I disagree. I do however understand your position as weird to me as it is.

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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I've come to the conclusion with this post (and many others prior) that you are just a troll who says things against the norm to piss people off

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how does that post suggest what youre saying?

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a common theme with her posts is the voicing of her opinion (which no one cares about) in a thread clearly showing an opposite view of everyone in the thread - just to piss them off

if she agrees she doesn't post - she gets no attention that way

Re: Earrings on small children
 

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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I've come to the conclusion with this post (and many others prior) that you are just a troll who says things against the norm to piss people off

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everything i say is what i truely think...how can what i said be considered "trollish"?!??! Its an accessory for girls and as a lil girl i always wanted mine done and had to wait til i was in high school which sucked. If my daughter doesnt like hers she can always take them out...no harm done...its not like im cutting her hand off and she cant have it back! Its my child, im not doing irreversible damage mentally or physically....there is no problem with pericings a small childs ears. If someone peirced thier childs tongue or belly button at a young age then id stay thats going a lil over board...but come on now its her ears!

I dont think not letting ur husband know is a great thing....but when i got mine done it was a spur of the moment thing while i was shopping in the mall...maybe this is the same case with his wife - the opportunity arose and she was there and decided to do it - some choices in life can be made independently! Im not saying dont NOT make decisions with ur spouse but sometimes its ok for those decisions to be made heat of the moment alone, that person is ur "other" half and hopefully u wouldnt have married them if u didnt respect/trust thier judgement and understand the majority of what they do - or at least i wouldnt marry someone who i didnt trust and understand for the most part, thus making this issue irrelavent. Now if my "husband" went out and blew 400k on a new house and 100k on a new car without "talking" it over with me or asking me what i thought id be more inclined to be like what the hell?

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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I've come to the conclusion with this post (and many others prior) that you are just a troll who says things against the norm to piss people off

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how does that post suggest what youre saying?

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a common theme with her posts is the voicing of her opinion (which no one cares about) in a thread clearly showing an opposite view of everyone in the thread - just to piss them off

if she agrees she doesn't post - she gets no attention that way

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a chick like peachy saying shes wants to have her daughters ears pierced is not outrageous, youre overreacting. its not a hugely controverial position or anything, a ton of women are the same.

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You don't think the act of piercing a child's ear lobe with needle is different than wearing clothes? Seriously?

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Seriously, I don't. It's not going to scar the child for life and it's a common practice. If the parent decides that it is appropriate for a young girl to have her ear pierced, that's acceptable and completely up to the parent. I don't get why that's so hard to understand.

Granted, I understand why you're being contary for the sake of being contrary, but do you seriously expect me to believe that you're so dense you can't understand my position?

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I'm not being contrary I think you are wrong or rather I disagree. I do however understand your position as weird to me as it is.

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I have to agree with [censored] here - they're two totally different things, with totally different social implications

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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I've come to the conclusion with this post (and many others prior) that you are just a troll who says things against the norm to piss people off

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how does that post suggest what youre saying?

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a common theme with her posts is the voicing of her opinion (which no one cares about) in a thread clearly showing an opposite view of everyone in the thread - just to piss them off

if she agrees she doesn't post - she gets no attention that way

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uummm MOST threads i reply to before reading...i dont read the whole thing and then post b/c then it wouldnt be my 1st initial feeling/thought. Also most threads i dont have the time to read through.

I dont care if noone cares about my opinion...i have just as much right to say what i think as anyone...just b/c someone doesnt care u shouldnt speak?? what kind of dark age are u living in? or how insecure are u? if everyone followed a norm and had the SAME ideas the world would be a very boring place with all the same people

ive agreed with things in the past...its not about attention...its what i think...if u dont like how i think dont read what i say

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im going to pierce my daughters ears when she is young...of course i wont if she doesnt want it...but i see no problems with it

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I've come to the conclusion with this post (and many others prior) that you are just a troll who says things against the norm to piss people off

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how does that post suggest what youre saying?

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a common theme with her posts is the voicing of her opinion (which no one cares about) in a thread clearly showing an opposite view of everyone in the thread - just to piss them off

if she agrees she doesn't post - she gets no attention that way

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a chick like peachy saying shes wants to have her daughters ears pierced is not outrageous, youre overreacting. its not a hugely controverial position or anything, a ton of women are the same.

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I'm tempted to say most women, atleast the ones I have talked to about this. This is actually a pretty common disagreement between men and women. Perhaos there are some underlying power issues dealing with child rearing at play.

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I'm tempted to say most women, atleast the ones I have talked to about this. This is actually a pretty common disagreement between men and women. Perhaos there are some underlying power issues dealing with child rearing at play.

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its b/c we were "little girls" once...and we know what kind of things they love. To dress up, have jewelry, wear makeup....not ALL the time but sometimes...i see nothing wrong with allowing her pierced ears

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uummm MOST threads i reply to before reading...i dont read the whole thing and then post b/c then it wouldnt be my 1st initial feeling/thought. Also most threads i dont have the time to read through.

I dont care if noone cares about my opinion...i have just as much right to say what i think as anyone...just b/c someone doesnt care u shouldnt speak?? what kind of dark age are u living in? or how insecure are u? if everyone followed a norm and had the SAME ideas the world would be a very boring place with all the same people

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I'm not saying you don't have a right to say what you think - I'm saying that you go out of your way to make sure what you say gets the most attention it can, which is MY opinion

I agree with almost everything you say in your post, although I feel pretty secure myself

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I'm tempted to say most women, atleast the ones I have talked to about this. This is actually a pretty common disagreement between men and women. Perhaos there are some underlying power issues dealing with child rearing at play.

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Do you mean that most women feel that their daughters should have their ears pierced young? This isn't a discussion I've had outside of this thread, so I'm not really sure what common feelings are about this.

I think that saying that there are underlying power issues is a bit of a stretch, I just think that men and women look at the issue differently. My guess is that men most likely tend to see earrings as a step towards maturity and that giving them to a girl when she's too young is trying to make her grow up too fast. I have a feeling that women tend to look at earrings as just another way for their daughter to look nice.

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I'm tempted to say most women, atleast the ones I have talked to about this. This is actually a pretty common disagreement between men and women. Perhaos there are some underlying power issues dealing with child rearing at play.

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its b/c we were "little girls" once...and we know what kind of things they love. To dress up, have jewelry, wear makeup....not ALL the time but sometimes...i see nothing wrong with allowing her pierced ears

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Yes I agree that is the female side but why is it that I and many other men seem to be oppossed. Perhaps an issue beyond that of ears getting pierced, (especially considering this is more than likely going to happen anyways). I'm thinking something stemming from a similar experience for most men at a very young age. Think below the belt.

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I'm tempted to say most women, atleast the ones I have talked to about this. This is actually a pretty common disagreement between men and women. Perhaos there are some underlying power issues dealing with child rearing at play.

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its b/c we were "little girls" once...and we know what kind of things they love. To dress up, have jewelry, wear makeup....not ALL the time but sometimes...i see nothing wrong with allowing her pierced ears

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not if you want to keep on having society portray women the way it has been

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Oh, and the official reason was "I'm tired of people thinking she's a boy."


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what happened to pink outfits?