$2,000,000,000
 

What would you do if you had $2,000,000,000 just given to you no strings attached. I don't want to hear [censored] like buy my parents a 4234324 sq ft house or something stupid like that. You will lose cool points for that.

I want funny stuff.

For example:

I'd hire a Mexican Midget Mariachi Band to stand in my foyer in full attire (ponchos, sombrerors) singing "La Cucharacha" and other Mexican Songs. They'd have to sing primarily in Mexican.

Hire people to play real life Halo with me, but they only get to shoot paintballs and I get to shoot blanks at them.

Re-enact Animal Survivor

Re-enact how many five year olds

Etc...

What about you?

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

i'd buy my parents something really nice. like a house maybe.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I'd also start up a company that trained spider monkeys in the art of bringing beer to people on command.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I'd hire Michael Buffer to introduce me every time I walked into a room. It wouldn't be just him though. I'd have some lighting folks, a DJ playing some tight-assed beats, strobe lights everywhere, and a cheering section.

That, or 2 chicks at the same time.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Whenever I get really bad service in any kind of retail/dining/entertainment situation I dream about having unlimited funds so I could purchase the establishment right there and then just so I could fire the moron who screwed me over. That would be fun.

Swede

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

hire Dominic to reshoot the favorite porn scene thread with the good OOTers recast into them...

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I would buy gorie a sense of humor. And a personal trainer.

ETA: I'm with you on the monkey butler idea.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
i'd buy my parents something really nice. like a house maybe.

[/ QUOTE ]

She had extra points she didn't want I guess.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
They'd have to sing primarily in Mexican.

[/ QUOTE ]

ignorance is bliss?

TT [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'd hire Michael Buffer to introduce me every time I walked into a room. It wouldn't be just him though. I'd have some lighting folks, a DJ playing some tight-assed beats, strobe lights everywhere, and a cheering section.

[/ QUOTE ]

that really cracked me up.

I can see it now, walking into work...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND COMING THROUGH THE DOOR RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW........STIIIIIIIIIIIIILLL HUNGOVER FROM THE WEEEKENNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD.......NOT GOING TO DO A DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN THING TOODAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY......"

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I'd make a statue of Gorie with enhanced boobs and ass to make her feel better!

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

http://www.lambdapsiphi.com/daft/daf...es/dtopen5.jpg

Duh.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Oh, Buffer would hate me too.

I'd get up and walk out a room and come back in multiple times just to be a bastard.

Cut him off halfway through: SHUT THE [censored] UP, BUFFER! CHRIST!!

etc, etc...it would rule.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

buy all the PT-141 I could get.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I would pay whatever it would take to move the entire operation that tapes the Maury Show into my living room.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

buy canada

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
I would buy gorie a sense of humor. And a personal trainer.

ETA: I'm with you on the monkey butler idea.

[/ QUOTE ]

it sounds to me like you are the one lacking the sense of humor.
and that's not the only thing you're lacking w/ that comment about the personal trainer. but thanks for thinking of me!

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

amongst other things?


naked pictures of Bea Arthur

a football helmet filled with cream cheese.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Also, Id fake my own death, and during the wake, Id have strobe lights, and techno music come on. Then Id raise out of my coffin, like a marionette on strings, and start "dancing". Then Id be all, bitches Im not dead, Im rich, now lets party.

Part of that was stolen from someone/where, cant remember to give cred though.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
They'd have to sing primarily in Mexican.

[/ QUOTE ]

ignorance is bliss?

TT [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously I know it's Spanish TT... I speak it fluently enough to order a burrito at taco bell.

Quiero un taco grande por favor con una limonada!

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
amongst other things?


naked pictures of Bea Arthur

a football helmet filled with cream cheese.

[/ QUOTE ]


Airheads was an awesmoe movie.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Oh.. I'd also have servants attached to electrical puppet strings so I could make them dance like actually puppets.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://www.lambdapsiphi.com/daft/daf...es/dtopen5.jpg

Duh.

[/ QUOTE ]

Clearly.

Also I'd start my own company. It would have my office and another, as well as a kitchen and a janitor, who would be that guy from royal tennenbaums. I would have a huge file cabinet and get emails every 10 minutes telling me "things are going nuts, we don't know the following:" with a list of [censored] going wrong. I'd open my door and run out to the other office where the 3 guys from the nextel commercial would be and i would live out that commercial.

Also I would buy them lunch every day and over lunch tell them "you guys crack me up"

Then, once i got bored of them I'd kill them and use my big stack of hamiltons to pay off all those invovled.

And finally, I'd become batman.

I think I win.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Dump whatever it took into nanotech/robotic research to build me some kind of super exoskeleton and go fight crime and save hot chicks.

Mainly save hot chicks.

Ray

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'd make a statue of Gorie with enhanced boobs and ass to make her feel better!

[/ QUOTE ]
now that i think about it, an enormous gorie statue would make me feel pretty good.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Challenge Daryn to a all-or-nothing prop bet to see who has the higher IQ.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Haha become batman is sweet.

I'd hire real life people to pose as statues. That would be hot. I'd also hire a butler named like Rick or Bill and I'd call him Jeeves over and over again and if he protested, I'd have my spider monkey fling poo in his face.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I know the first thing I'm gonna do:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...yer/jordan.jpg

Edit: Oh yeah, two chicks at the same time too obv.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I go around finding out how much it really takes for people to do all the stupid things they talk about. Like how much it takes for your average OOTer to suck off another guy, [censored] like that. Cuz everyone has a price for anything you can come up with.

Id also make commercials about whatever I felt like, and run them on network TV all the time.

And Id pay to have photographers follow around paparazzi memebers all day.

id also start my own church

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I'd stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich and have sex all [censored] day. Then I'd dress up like a clown and suprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater and then wait....until somebody sat in it. Hear a squish. that's funny to me. Then I'd paint and read and play violin, climb the mountains and sing the songs I like to sing.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

sharks with laser beams

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

I know it's a family guy ref, but I still want it...

Live Theme Music - Hire a band or DJ to folow me around expressing my mood musicly.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Seriously, I'd buy a cave and live in it and never come out for fear that everyone I know and loved will turn against me and will try to kill me and steal my money.

I'm super paranoid like that.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
I know the first thing I'm gonna do:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...yer/jordan.jpg

Edit: Oh yeah, two chicks at the same time too obv.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. NH

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Easy solution, kill all your friends and family before they kill you.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
Quiero un taco grande por favor con una limonada!

[/ QUOTE ]

No comprendo.
You didn't put the upside down exclamation point at the beginning of the sentence.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
Easy solution, kill all your friends and family before they kill you.

[/ QUOTE ]

omg! this was so simple, why didn't I ever think of it.

Ok first thing I do is kill everyone I know. Then I buy a big house with lots of video games and then one of those fleshlight jack off things and I'll be set for life.

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Are you saying that you want to see OOT penis?

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I know the first thing I'm gonna do:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...yer/jordan.jpg

Edit: Oh yeah, two chicks at the same time too obv.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. NH

[/ QUOTE ]

is that...?

Re: $2,000,000,000
 

Slider,

This reminds me of a guy I knew back in the 80s. He had a rich uncle die and leave him $300 million. But one string was attached. To get the $300 million, he had to spend $30 million in 30 days and have nothing left to show for the money, no assets, nothing! It was a pretty crazy month!