Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Inspired by the sad news at the borgata thread...

Junior year of college there was this kid that always wanted to go to AC with us, so one time we brought him. Total alcoholic and one of the worst card players ever. He starts out playing 3/6 but after about 10 makers marks he decided he needs to play 20/40 instead. He empties his ATM and sure enough goes on the rush of his life. But what was great was that every time he was on a draw he would announce his cards and inform the dealer that if his draw came he would tip half the pot. Each time he would stand up and yell "SPADE! COME ON DEALER! PUT A F*CKING SPADE UP THERE!" for example. Low and behold he hits a handfull of straights/flushes, keeping his word and tipping half the pot each time.

On one occasion, however, while trying to give $100 stacks of red to the dealer as a tip, he knocks over the chips and they spill in the rack and get mixed in with the fill. This is bad news and the game is delayed almost 30 minutes. During this time he goes to play craps (he has no idea what the rules are) Wins 2000 by hitting bulshit like hard 12, snake eyes, and other longshots, and promptly tips 1000 (half) upon leaving the table.

Kind of sad and amazing at the same time- and yes he did manage to lose every penny before we went home.

I know you guys have some good ones, post them here please.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Well not "Best" but recent.....


Me and some buddies are out all night drinking shots, beer, bourbon, mudslides etc.

I'm falling down drunk. I decide to go play no-limit hold'em. I tell my buddies to come along and sweat me and get unlimited free drinks.


I buy-in for $200. A small raise to me on my first hand. I look down to find 66. I'm too drunk for any post-flop thinking, I push.


Folded to pre-flop raiser. He does the TV pre-flop chip dance, the WPT stare-down and the "I know I have you beat" speech.

I look at him and say, "If you have me beat b!tch, put your money in the pot".

He calls.


99, Oh well, I'm drunk & Stupid.


I just hang my head in drunken shame as the flop, turn & river are being delivered to their proper destination. Never looking up

I bring my head up from shame and look over to Mr 99 to see if he rightfully lets me have it for my friendly trash talking.

He's not there. I just see his back as he's walking to the rail. I look down at the board cards. A beautiful sexy six. And my hand is good. YMMV.


Howard

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

I guess my favorite of all times is still the guy in AC who bought into 2-4 with only eight chips... two $1000 chips and six $100 chips, $2600 total. He had a thick Russian accent, and didn't know diddly about how to play hold'em. But he knew how to say, and I quote...

"how do you say? Rrrrrrraise! (don't forget to roll your R's now). Drove all the dealers, and most of the players, absolutely crazy.

So he said it, and did in fact raise every single hand, for about eight straight hours.

He didn't really care what he had, hell, half the time he didn't even bother looking. But he continued raising. And he'd raise to the end, no matter what, no matter what he had, whether he'd looked or not, whatever.

He totally hammered me on one hand. He didn't look, So when I flopped top pair, Queen kicker, I figured I'd be good. So I capped it with him to the river. But on the river he had QUAD FIVES. Tho my ASS was kinda SORE, I couldn't help but laugh.

One of the best times I've ever had playing poker. I won about $580 (most big bets I have ever won to this day playing limit), my buddy won about $400 something, and everyone else at the table did pretty darn goot as well. Funny as chit.

[edited several times because I was drinking like my seventh beer while writing it]

al

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

not much of a story, but i was playing 1/2 NL at the mirage for about 14 hours straight drinking the entire time. ended up down about 150 for the session but i had a great time doing it - the table was very fun.

well when i finally got up from the table at 11am or so i was pretty hammered. this being only my 3rd time in a casino, i had no f'ing clue where i was going. i stumbled around trying to find the exit, and i finally found one. no clue where it put me out, but i was walking around outside, midmorning, quite drunk and i ended up at the casino employee entrance. i surveyed the area and throught this couldn't be right. so i went back to another door and entered. it was treasure island's hotel, apparently, so i walk down to the casino floor and plop into a Gameking machine. play some video blackjack and i think i make $10 or so. somehow i managed to find my way out of TI, and walked allllll the way back to the hotel at the Riviera.

friends were sleeping as i busted into the room making a shitload of noise when the door hit the wall - they shot up like someone fired a gun in the room. i go on for 10 minutes straight about my night/morning and they said i passed out on the floor midsentence.

ahhhhhh vegas =)

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Vegas rocks, my friend. You don't have to remember it all to figure that out. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

al

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

beavens, this reminds me of a bellagio experience I had.

Me and a buddy return from the strip club at about 2 AM and enter a 15-30 game that includes a local nit to my right. He immediately starts in on us for being drunk and slowing the game down. Now we were definitely being slow, but we were also capping/raising over half the hands- any suited, connected, paired, or remotely attractive cards for either one of us resulted in a raise, with us often getting pots capped preflop. Of course this idiot says were "ruining the game" blah blah blah I mean how hard can it be to realize this is a golden opportunity to make a big score and be nice to us. The nit is a dead ringer for Nikita Kruschev (sp?) so I call him Nikita and give him [censored] about being a nit and he gets mad back and says something about blowing my inheritance because "this isn't 4-8" and some other crap.

Anyway, he raises one hand and I coldcall with 9 7 and make a straight on the turn. He goes 4 bets with me on the turn and 2 on the river with his AA, and just totally loses it. I tip the dealer a bunch of reds and laugh my ass off as do most of the other players. He leaves, calling me names, and I scream at him to "ENJOY YOUR BUTTSEX, SIR." Probably uncalled for, but it sure was funny at the time.

Another thing that happened- on one hand I raised preflop and bet every street and some guy called me down with J high to win the pot. I playfully asked how he could call with jack high and he smiled and said, "I'm rich!" Didn't have a comeback for that one.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

[ QUOTE ]
Another thing that happened- on one hand I raised preflop and bet every street and some guy called me down with J high to win the pot. I playfully asked how he could call with jack high and he smiled and said, "I'm rich!" Didn't have a comeback for that one.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol - i would say "nh" to that one-liner.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Kinda long, but hope you like it...

I always have one drunken Blackjack/Craps night when I go to Vegas for a week. My friend and I picked Casino Royale on a this particular trip for the drinking fest. What a dump.

We started playing $5 BJ and drinking heavily at 8pm. By the time we left the sun was high in the sky, it was 10am the next morning. We stumbled back to the room and both passed out for 10 hours. I awoke to find my pockets stuffed full of C-notes, $2,300 in all. My friend had about $1,600. We had both left the room with $500 in cash, the rest locked away in the room safe the night before.

We made our way back to Casino Royale and were instantly treated like fcuking millionaires. Dealers were beckoning us to their tables, waitresses were 3-deep trying to get us a drink. The floor even came over and asked if he could get us ANYTHING!

I'm like, WTF is going on here? Come to find out that we won a $HITPOT of money playing drunken Blackjack the night/early morning before. I'm talking 3-4 grand each. We were betting $100 a hand after about 3am and don't even remember. We tipped away at least a thousand each to the dealers, floor, and waitresses.

I don't remember a bit of it nor do I regret it. Vegas baby, Vegas. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Last weekend I stayed at the MGM. On Friday night I went to KA with a friend of mine and his wife. After that we went to the blackjack tables and proceeded to get drunk. My buddy called it a night around 2:30 or 3:00. I went to the poker room to play some nice drunk low limit. I get seated in a typical 4/8 game with a half kill. I can barely walk straight but I figure I can still play with these people. I decide I will gamble it up early on to create a “wild gambling” image.

The floor man brings me a rack of blue and I tell say, “I loose way more than that, bring me three more racks.” The table takes notice as I stack my chips up.

I fold my first hand, I am drunk but I have some standards, only to see about 6 people limp after me. As the dealer is pulling in the chips I say, “Wow this looks like a big pot, I call.” I put four chips over the line. The dealer chuckles and pushes them back to me. I say, “No really, I call. I’ll play the board.” The dealer takes my chips and I hear “wow, never seen that before.” I didn’t win the pot, or even a share of it, but now everyone knows I am drunk and looking to gamble.

I spend the next couple of hours talking non stop. I wish I could remember the stuff I was saying because I had the whole table laughing. One time I raised and I got called by the next two players on my left. Both happened to be cops, one from DC and one from somewhere that I forgot. As the second one calls I say, “Oh no, here comes the Po Po.” They both fold when I bet the turn and I say, “Parole granted.” It was funny at the time. I also remember making fun of a guy who said, “Yikes-a-hootie” when he got raised. I got paper and pens from the floor and we had a contest to see how to spell Yikes-a-hootie. I spelled it yikesahooty. I was secretly glad I couldn’t spell it.

Another time I raised AK and got about 12 callers. I bet the flop for some reason that I can’t remember now, there was no Ace or King. On the turn I pick up a gut shot broadway. I say, “Dealer I need some serious help. You get half the pot if you bring me a winner.” River King. Checked around and my hand is good. I wish I had a picture of the other player’s faces when I pushed the dealer half the pot.

All this is leading up to one hand. I almost left but a girl at the table convinced me to stay. At this point I am down $120 or so. I remember thinking I’ve had so much fun I just wish I was up. The hand is dealt. Girl who talked me into staying opens with a raise. Guy two to my right makes it three bets. Before looking at my cards I make sniffing sounds and say,”Do you all smell that? (short pause) Smells like a big pot.” I check my cards, QJ of spades; a perfect suck out hand! I call, several other people call.

At this point I should mention that this was a kill pot. Flop comes QJ9, two clubs. Not a bad flop for my hand. When it gets to me I make it three bets and it comes back to me capped. It was capped by the girl who raised in first position. I figure I am behind and hope I am not drawing dead. Turn comes, board is now QJ9J. Sweet. I like my chances more now when she does not cap the turn. Turn gets capped four ways. This time it was the button who capped the turn.

I puss out on the river and just over call the buttons bet. He bet and two other people called before me. The hands were me: QJ, button: J9 (and I thought my preflop call was bad), Girl UTG: 99, Guy who hates money and paid off all the way: KK.

As the dealer is pushing me this gigantic pot, you could have heard a pin drop. Everyone is just staring mouth wide open at all that money going to me. I tip the dealer, then I tip everyone at the table either one or five dollars. I can’t remember how much it was. It takes me about the next four hands to stack all these chips. I color up and get a stack of green to go with my blues and assorted reds.

I had so much fun and finished up for the night. It’s sad that drunken 4/8 was my biggest win of the trip. I am going to have to try it more often.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

these are some very entertaining stories, guys - keep em coming

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

This doesn't beat others for coolness, but I still think it's pretty funny.

Business trip to Kansas City, there's a bar that hosts a NL free tournament every week. So a few of us went, and I started in on my Jack and Cokes. Apparently the waitress wanted to cut me off, but my friends said I was okay...what are friends for? I do remember winning the tournament and a poker tabletop that I've never used. But here's the fun bit. According to one of my friends, I had a nut flush on the last hand to knock out the two remaining players. However, he swore I had three cards in my hand and "hid" the extra card behind my "real cards" when I tabled the flush. I'm amazed I had the presence of mind to do that.

One guy I saw at Bellagio dropped eight or nine racks of white because he had so much beer, the waitress was just bringing them by every visit. Complete calling station. By the end of the night, he went on a huge rush and made all his money back and then some.

ScottieK

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

[ QUOTE ]
This doesn't beat others for coolness

[/ QUOTE ]

Almost every drunken gambling story is cool.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

[ QUOTE ]
"ENJOY YOUR BUTTSEX, SIR."

[/ QUOTE ]

NH.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Ahh vegas, when I reach that tender age I shall come for you, and there waill be drink and joy and poker.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Hahaha! That was one of the most entertaining 4/8 games I've ever witnessed.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

The "I woke up with three grand more than I had last night and have no idea how it happened" stories are always my favorite for some reason.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

VORP
Could you tell me which was the case:

1. People laughing with me.

2. People laughing at me.

I remember case 1 but I admint my memory is not so clear.

Were you playing or dealing?

Any funny lines you remember would be appreciated. Thanks.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

[ QUOTE ]
The "I woke up with three grand more than I had last night and have no idea how it happened" stories are always my favorite for some reason.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ya. But for every one of those stories, there are probably 100 out there about losing your arse.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

I remember one night at the Tropicana in AC I played a 2-4 game with this middle aged polish guy who insisted that every time either of us won a pot, he would buy a shot.

He ended up being a really good poker player, or at least was as lucky as I was that night because we got trashed. I had never had so much fun playing cards than I did that night.

Then I remember dodging hookers and drug dealers when I got the bright idea to walk down Atlantic Ave at 3am to my friends hotel room at the Sands.

God I can't wait to go back down.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

I was in Vegas with some buddies last year. We played an uneventful tournament one evening at the Orleans. The next day we walked into the Mirage around noon and got placed at a 6/12 table with an unruly drunk SOB. Turns out this was one of dealers from the night before at the Orleans.

We learned from the floor that this guy's routine was to get off work at the Orleans and go straight to the Mirage where he would play and drink until he passed out the next day.

Before he got kicked out of the room for stinking and splashing the pots, he entertained the table by eating a cocktail napkin and ogling the women next to him.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

"Before he got kicked out of the room for stinking and splashing the pots, he entertained the table by eating a cocktail napkin and ogling the women next to him."

Wow.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

ah man....

how about the drunk guy that sits down at the MGM - limps with AQ and leaves me AT in the big blind unopposed.

Flop comes KQJ, and we both get our money in post flop and I drag the pot at which time he tells someone I'm an awful player.

I ragged on him a bit - told him to rebuy - but he left.

---------------------

Laughlin - late one night I'm there and there's a real drunk guy who was engaged in a pathetic attempt at hitting on a dealer or a dealer's gf - one of the two.

He asked her name right before action, and rather then answer him she went "raise" and he goes "raise - that's an odd name." -

Eventually the floor said he was cutoff, and he took his chips and left - no doubt not to bed but to find another place he could be served. Saw a cop car outside the place a bit later - I think he got busted or passed out somewhere in the casino.

--------------------

Had a loose drunk at Canterbury one time - real donator but the dealers had to keep telling him to watch his language - he finally got pissed and left and on one hand, the game was so damned slow we're glad it sped up - on the other hand, by ragging him about swearing that drove him from the table.

-------------------------

For my money my fav. was the waitress at the MGM who brought me whiskey the first night I was there.

She brought me 3 shots while I'm playing and I asked for a 4th - of course I'm tipping every time... when she brought the 4th it was in the normal shot glass but about 4-5 times as much booze - almost to the rim. (usually they were about 1/4th full at most)

I pointed out I HAD to drink it - it was a dare - I got it down - backed off after that except for a couple Smirnoffs, and walked out at 11am and took 10 min. to find the Strip - (walked out the wrong door) - went to the Imperial Palace where I played a tourney hungover and on 25 hrs without sleep before I could get into my room.

guess she knew she could save a lot of work by just bringing the next 4 all at once. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

RB

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Not much about poker, but I still crack up reading this. For today, im the coolest person yuou know

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

[ QUOTE ]
We tipped away at least a thousand each to the dealers, floor, and waitresses.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's probably more than they make in tips in a year. (CR does not cultivate the high-roller crowd, nor, with 6:5 on blackjack, the smart crowd.)

Non-drunk (well, me anyway, I can't vouch for the employees) CR story: before they went to 6:5, I was wandering through and for some reason decided to play some BJ there (maybe Barbary Coast was too crowded, I don't remember). Anyhow, the dealer was not only crappy (they're non-union, so good dealers quickly leave for better pay elsewhere), but she dealt like she was practicing for a grudge match with Chris Ferguson. Tossed them clean off the table several times in the short time I was there.

Anyway, I'm sitting at first base, next to a woman happily pursuing her Martingale strategy despite a table limit capped at $100. Dealer speed-tosses the cards, flinging Martingale lady's second card off the table. "Card down," table buzzes, etc. Things get back to normal, so Martingale lady hits, next player stands...hey, what about me? I'm clearing my throat loudly, saying "hey, excuse me!" but dealer has a quota to fill. She finishes up and deals out her cards: a 19. She then looks at my cards, still face down, and I flip them, revealing two aces, and say, "yeah, you forgot something."

So she calls the pit boss, who comes up and instead of simply telling her "let him play his hand," looks at me as if it's my fault and grunts, "hit 'em or split em?" I push one ace to the side and place a bet in front of it, but pit boss apparently needs a verbal declaration, because she asks again, louder, "HIT 'EM OR SPLIT 'EM??" I say, "what does it look like?" and again I hear, "HIT 'EM OR SPLIT 'EM?????" I mean, are they hiring the mentally challenged as pit bosses? Finally I lose it and say, "SPLIT THEM, YOU [censored] ASS!"

Soooo, long story short, my split results in a 12 and an 18, and a helpful sad-sack of a security guy comes to escort me out of the casino, answering the question, "what does it take to actually get kicked out of Casino Royale?"

Got hammered, lost 600 and my mom paid me back!
 

After I turned 21 my mom wanted to go to Vegas. She was very lonely and sad after a divorce with my dad and worked constantly so I thought I would go with her to give her some company. At Bally's the bar is right next to the poker section and they keep brining you drink after drink after dirnk..... You get the point. I got like four vodka Red Bulls in the time it took to go one orbit around the table. Anyways I was playing 3/6 and was SUPER hammered after about two hours. I was raising and capping every street with anything. By the end of the night I was stuck about $600 for being so hammered and just [censored] totally around. The next day when we were going to the airport my mom tells me she won about $700 on a lucky slot pull. I told her about my poker losses and she said "I had so much fun, heres the money you lost! I know going to Vegas with your mom is kind of lame so this is to show how much it meant to me!" Woohoo!

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

I was not the one hammered in these stories, but I think they're OK nonetheless.

I'm in Reno a few years ago at 3 a.m., playing Pai Gow Poker alone. This homeless-looking guy plops down next to me, sweating bourbon, and throws a c-note down as his bet. He gets his seven cards from the dealer, and recoils.

"WHAT THE F ARE WE PLAYING?" he slurs.

I help him play his cards for about 15 minutes, he wins about $700 and gets tossed when he refuses to get coffee instead of a beer. I leave a few minutes after that, and I see two security guards beating the crap out of him in the alley. I decide I do not want to interfere in a Reno alley fight in the middle of the night.

Story 2: I'm playing poker at a casino for the first time ever. I'm at the Excalibur. I have to take a leak, but I have no idea where the bathrooms are. I ask the table and they point me in the right direction. As I turn the corner toward the bathroom, a drunk guy slams into me and dumps his drink directly on my crotch.

This after I have just asked the poker table where the bathrooms are.

I still had chips on the table, which is the only reason I sheepishly went back. Had I realized I'd never see any of these people again, I would have just strolled back to the table confidently with my soaking pants and said, "Well, I didn't find the bathroom."

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

I posted this earlier but I think it's worth another laugh.

So I'm sitting at a table in the local casino totally digging the action when i see a little tiny guy in the corner wearing a green felt cap doing jumping jacks while smoking a cigar. Now at first I'm thinking to myself, what the hell is this guy doing in a card room with a cigar? They don't allow cigars in here? And why is he so tiny? He doesn't even look 21!
So anyway, I shake it off and try to go back to playing cards when the guy next to me says... "I hear those fellas can't walk very fast". Hmm, Maybe not, but they sure can jump, I think to myself. Then I look over again, and the little tiny guy has sweat pouring off his forehead, doing jumping jacks, just going to town on his cigar like a little green Irish smokestack or something.

Now I'm really starting to freak out because I'm not sure if the guy next to me REALLY said that, or the MUSHROOMS I took are finally kicking in and I should get out of here QUICK! So I push all my chips into the pot, say I'M ALL IN! Figuring if I did that, NOBODY would dare call that raise, right? DIDN'T THINK SO! Just then the little tiny guy comes over to the table and says mushrooms? What mushrooms? I just want to go home. What are you looking at?

At that point I just had to get up and leave. I wasn't really thinking straight anyway.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

These are great, so i'm going to contribute to get others to do the same.

Not poker, but last December we're at Hard Rock playing blackjack. Played for hours and hours, they close all the lower limit tables and get us one of our own ($10). We're all wasted, but my buddy is HAMMERED. He's at third base, starts chatting up the dealer with this ridiculous crap. Says great things, completely unprovoked, like "man, I've been where you are. I know how hard it is. You just have to keep your head up.", like the dealer is some street person or something. He's hitting on 18, splitting face cards, and just winning a pretty large amount for blackjack where hands are averaging probably $25 a hand. One guy blasts him for it, and he goes "You think I care? I make a million bucks a year.", and of course my other buddy proceeds immediately with, "No you don't", which gets a great laugh.

He starts tipping this dealer a bunch of money. We are having to pull chips away while he isn't looking and hide them from him. The pit boss and dealer see us doing this but don't even care because it's completely obvious how necessary it is. As we about to leave, he gives the guy like $200 and says "Just make sure this gets to the kids. It's all for the kids". We have no idea where this came from.

Needless to say "do it for the kids" has become a running punch line with our group.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

ah, the table games-

One night at borgata a few buddies and I played some post-poker blackjack and got shithoused. At like 3am these two hot girls come and sit down at our table. Now even hammered I can see that these are working girls, but they are nice and our group chats with them and whatever. One of these girls is getting pretty friendly with one of my friends so I say for all to hear, "Watch out, its pay to play with that [censored]" or something to that effect. Long story short, the women were 20-something teachers from Philadelphia who came on a whim after one of their birthday parties. So my smooth move alienated drunk, hot, and probably horny girls. Not my finest hour.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

well this really doesn't have much to do with gambling but it happened in a casino so WTF

So me and some friends get totally hammered playing BJ. One guy is 19 and is one of those fellows that will drink and drink and drink and get incredibly hammered, but is somehow incapable of passing out or puking and will just continue to throw them back at an alarming pace.

we stop playing to go get breakfast and this guy is just hammered out of his mind. The following conversation transpires:

him: I'll have the grand slam (or whatever it was)
waitress: how do you want your eggs?
him: huh?
waitress: your eggs, how do you want your eggs?
him: oh, oh, the very best

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Hey Beavens, we all know you don't come to vegas to...

sleep

be sober

exercise a great deal of quality self control when it comes to gambling while drinking

Hell, the first time (when I was a tourist) I played at mandalay bay I was so confused it took me about an hour to find my car! Most of that time was trying to find the parking garage, and I even asked directions three times [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]! Don't even ask about trying to find my car at caesar's! [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] Now I know why tourists are better off taking cabs!

al

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Some years back I found myself in Florida with friends. We got completely hammered and ended up taking the flight to Freeport to gamble. The deal was, you have to keep $15 bucks airport tax or whatever to get back out of the country.

So it was like a twenty minute flight, but in that time, I realize my ex-wife is one of the flight attendents. She starts harrassing me about her new boyfriend, who was actually the freakin pilot. So now I'm hammered and pissed off and humiliated when I get to the casino.

I blow my roll in less than thirty minutes playing craps. Now everyone knows how it sucks to be in a casino with no money while all your friends are having fun, so I say screw it, I'll bet my last $15, it's not like my friends are going to leave me behind.

I started playing blackjack and I couldn't lose. I was so hammered I wasn't even playing basic strategy...just doing whatever...all kinds of goofey hits. Next thing I know, I'm up a couple of thousand bucks! All my friends are hovering around the table hooting and hollering. I was demanding shots of tequila and getting them.

While this whole scene is going on, I manage to get some chick to sit on my lap "for luck" and I'm giving her some chips to play with and she starts hammering shots as well.

We had to be back at the plane at 3:00AM, having arrived around 6:00PM and it turns out the drunk chick is on the plane as well. The plane is basically empty and completely dark and I start groping her and before I know what's going on my ex-wife realizes I'm getting head under a blanket right there for her to see. It was priceless.

I ended up winning about two grand, had a little action and when I finally got home and went to bed I heard my roomate screaming. I ran in there to find that the cat had taken a huge dump on his pillow while we were gone. For some reason, that remains the best memory of the night for me.

What a great night. It's been -EV ever since.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Over a year ago around Christmas I had one of my favorite nights of poker ever. During a long session of 20-40 at Borgata my friend comes over to me and says he's cashing out (he was playing 80-160) and that I should do the same and go have some fun. So I'm up over 2 dimes and it sounds like a good idea.

I walk up to the cage to cash out and he has one of those little food carts pulled up there and he is loading it with rack upon rack of white chips. He grabs one of my racks of red and hands it to the cashier and asks for five more racks of white. So we have this cart loaded up with like fifteen racks of white chips and we wheel it over to the 2-4 table. On the way over he says play as tight as you can for the first down and then we'll have some fun.

We take seats on opposite ends of the table and unload our racks. It took about fifteen minutes of building for each of us to construct massive pyramids of chips on the table. We are ordering drinks and just enjoying the confused looks of the 2-4 grinders. Then the dealers change and Anthony sits down. For those that dont play there Anthony is a really great guy with a good sense of humor. He is a giant black man with a booming voice and infectious laugh. Well he knows us pretty well and he almost falls over laughing when he sees us there with our pyramids and cocktails. He says to the table "ok seatbelt time kids".

First hand dealt we get it capped preflop, cap the flop, cap the turn and are heads up on the river. I bet, he raises, I 3-bet, he announces that I must be bluffing and goes to 4, I claim he's making a move and go to 5, and on and on until we've put 12 bets in on the river and I take the pot down with J high to beat his 9 high.

He pretends to storm away from the table and comes back from the cage with five more racks. We are raising every chance we get and the table starts trying to keep up with us but they are clueless doing things like calling 2 turn bets but folding to the cap or calling all the way and folding on the river when my most likely holding is 7 high. Then on one hand I go 3 bets on the river against this 40 something asian woman who calls my 3rd bet and says "what you got?" I reply "I don't know I haven't looked yet." Which was true. I turn over 74os for a runner runner straight and yell "Yahtzee!" So she starts screaming and calls the floor. She and another nit in the game are now complaining that we're ruining the game. If it's possible to "ruin" a 2-4 game I'm pretty sure trying to dump a few hundred dollars worth of super loose action into the game is not how it's done. So the floorman Bruce flags us and we're cutoff. We rack up and go and upon doing so discover that we are both up, I managed to win over $100 in the game. I throw the dealer a pile of white chips that didn't fit in the rack and that was that until we got to the cage.

My friend manages to dump over the cart in front of the cage spilling what is now over twenty racks of white chips on the floor. I wish I had a picture of his drunk ass sitting there surrounded by over 2000 chips crying from the laughter.

It was a fun night.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

haha - i love these stories!!

during the same trip as my drunken debacle:

my friend and i had just flown in from DC at about 12am vegas time. so after the drive up to DC and the flight, we were pretty tired. but we just got to vegas for the first time ever and to top it off, we decided to not book the room for that night - save money by just checking in the next day! hell, we only had to pull an allnighter - and this is vegas baby!

needingly to refuel, we hit up denny's and get some grub. needless to say, it was incredible.

after "dinner", we hit the strip to check things out. my friend had never been in a casino, so we poked our heads in Treasure Island, but didn't see anything we really liked. then we ended up in the Mirage, and decided to play a little 1-2 NL.

played until about 5am or so and decided to call it quits. i was up about only 15 and my friend was down some - no worries. at this point we have a little booze in us and are still pretty tired/jetlagged. time to explore some more.

went around a few more casinos and decided to check out Caesar's and the shops they had (remember this is at like 5:45am and they were all closed). we walked through the shops and whatnot, then walked back to the casino to leave.

ok, maybe blame it on the slightly drunk and majorly tired factor - but could NOT FIND THE EXIT!!

we saw a place that said 'exit', but there were 8 million "THIS IS NOT AN EXIT" signs around it!! we walked all over the casino looking for one - no luck. we went into the hotel - no luck. even walked around where the pool is! (apparently you weren't supposed to be there at that houe) there seemed to be a few construction exits, but we didnt want to risk it. so back in the casino we go.

we saw how we got IN the place - the escalators. but where were the ones going out?? we saw our only option - run up the 'going down' escalator. my friend managed without a problem to make the jump and begin the the downward stairs. i wasn't so lucky - i stumbled when i landed, but upon sight of those metal teeth i was able to correct myself and regain control. we then made our way going opposite of the moving sidewalks and finally exited back onto the strip. we were never the same after Caesar's, and i dont want to go into that death trap again!

we figure we were too tired to do anything else, so let's go and wait at the hotel until we can check in. no worries right?

well we get to the Riviera at about 7 or so - feeling ok.

thing that sucks about the Riviera - not much going on. lots of slots and old people. their poker 'section' is kinda a joke. the wait to check in was probably the worst time i've ever had. i was beyond tired, my legs were twitchy and ached, and we had nothing to do. for hours we'd walk around, come back to the sportsbook, pass out for a few minutes, walk around, wait - rinse and repeat.

finally it was nearing 11am and my friend was about to get in from colorado. we were so tired that we just sat in the lobby, right next to the elevators, waiting for him. people would come out the elevators and look down upon us with pity and resent. i swear we felt like second class citizens. one older woman even came up and asked "did they kick you boys out??" - classic. so finally our knight in shining armor walks through the door at about 12pm or so. we were psyched to see him, cause the room was in his name.

lo and behold - check-in isnt until FOUR PM!! [censored]! no way would could last that long! we felt defeated and on the brink of tears.

lucky for us, mgt decided to let people check in at 1pm instead. relieved, we got our bags from the captain and waited in line. as soon as we get in the room, my colorado friend asks if we want to get any food? we say "hell no", crank up AC, and pass out for a delicious 5 hours or so.

upon waking we took on vegas like it meant to be taken on.

great trip and well worth the losses in gambling!

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

Short and sweet.

My first trip to Tunica I've been playing up in the poker room at the Gold Strike for about 5-6 hours and finally make it downstairs at maybe 3 am to meet up with my friend who has probably had like 10 jack and cokes in the past hour or two.

He's like attempting to flirt with one of the drink girls who in fairness has a pretty decent body... and also two big brownish/blackish teeth that are very crooked.

Ah Mississippi.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

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The "I woke up with three grand more than I had last night and have no idea how it happened" stories are always my favorite for some reason.

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...to which I always say, "Is your ass sore?"

-Gryph

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

[ QUOTE ]
VORP
Could you tell me which was the case:

1. People laughing with me.

2. People laughing at me.

I remember case 1 but I admint my memory is not so clear.

Were you playing or dealing?

Any funny lines you remember would be appreciated. Thanks.

[/ QUOTE ]

I pretty much just saw #1. Of course, there were the occasional looks of stunned disbelief when you dragged pot after pot with 74o. I was dealing when you had the spelling contest with the Canadian couple. A few hours later I saw the Canadian women again and she told me all about that massive hand. She had the 99 and was really good natured about it.

I dealt a somewhat similar 4/8 table the other day where a drunk guy was raising/re-raising blind and going on a huge rush. At one point he raises blind and this very sober player stops before acting and asks me if the raiser looked at his cards. I tell him I don’t know. So he asks the guy. The drunk raiser finds this really funny and just starts laughing. Sober guy turns back to me and demands, “I need to know if he looked at his cards.” Funny stuff.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

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During this time he goes to play craps (he has no idea what the rules are) Wins 2000 by hitting bulshit like hard 12, snake eyes, and other longshots,

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If he was hitting soft 12's I'd really be impressed.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

this thread is the nuts.


i wish i drank when i played, then maybe i'd have a story like this....guess i'm kinda businesslike.

Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here
 

"If he was hitting soft 12's I'd really be impressed."

Read my post. "He starts playing CRAPS." Hard 12 as in rolling 2 sixes which pays 30-1.