I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

Someone commit me. I thought I was above it. I thought I had conquered it. It had been 2 or 3 months since one of these episodes.

I drop 25 bets at 2/4 after a few beats. "Oh [censored]", I say to myself, "I need to make that money back, thats enough money to eat for 2 weeks" Here, lets go to a 400 NL table and stack someone. QQ runs into KK and BAM... "Oh [censored] oh [censored], I need that money... lets take a grand and double it back up playing BJ" Double down on 11, get a 2 dealer flips 11 and BAM, im done, down about 1500 for a winrate of around -$18000/hr

I played for over a month for that much money and its gone in 5 minutes, because I cant control myself. I wont let myself lose without going completely [censored] bust. Im not sure if its a disease, or if Im just effing retarded, probably the latter.

The whole reason I havent gambooled my whole roll away is that half of it is processing in neteller right now

In any case, Im done with gambling for a while, I cant handle it... reading this post makes me sound pathetic, which I am for not having any self discipline.

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

One skill of a poker player is to think of $ as chips and not as "my meal for 2 weeks".

appears to be symptoms of problematic/addicted gambler. Get help.

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

Here is my cure.

Go to the grocery store and buy some Puppy Chow. Take it home and eat it.

Think about how it tastes.

Really pay attention to the flavors and the texture.

Once you have completed a full bowl (no cheating!), say to yourself

"If I don't stop gambling, I am going to go broke and be forced to eat this crap every single day."

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

Have you seen the prices of Puppy Chow lately? He might not be able to afford that.

Seriously, OP has a problem. Whether it is addiction is not for me to say.

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

When I lost 1/3 of my 21K bankroll a few months ago and put the rest on red (it came up 2, black) the real pain came not from the fact that I had lost x amount of money, but because I lost some self-respect. 'How could I be such a fvking idiot to lose control of my emotions like that' was what really hurt, even though I didn't know it at the time.

Realizing you are not as emotionally strong as you thought is not easy to cope with, however, if you know that is what you must come to terms with, it is easier. Do NOT beat yourself up over this. It is not indicitive of your character as a person, which is the most important thing.

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

Your post is a good example of what is so dangerous about online poker/gambling.
It takes an incredible amount of self-control to play these games and keep boundaries:
a) stopping at a certain point
b) playing within your limits/bankroll

What you did was simply a lapse of any control, and since it's so easy to do and so available - you did it. And lost.

I think you should look into "why" you are gambling - is it for the skill of it, to make money, for the risk?
And then get help to learn how to stay within your boundaries.

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

Get a monkey. Train it to throw crap at you if you go on tilt.

Problem solved.

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

That, of course, would be another way to do it.

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

[ QUOTE ]
Get a monkey. Train it to throw crap at you if you go on tilt.

Problem solved.

[/ QUOTE ]

How would the monkey know if he's on tilt?

Re: I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me
 

No, you don't understand, it's not about if the MONKEY is on tilt.